The Pact
by 1983Sunny
Summary: Two young people meet at night. Both have reached their breaking point, but in their darkest hour they find themselfs drawn to each other. A pact is made that will change their life forever. Will they meet again or will they forget about the pact they have made that fateful night?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I had this idea and it wouldn't go away, so I decided to write it down. If you like it please let me know and I will continue this story...**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to E.L. James**

**_Prolog_**

**_Seattle, september 9th 2005_**

The rain was pouring down on the petite brown-haired girl as she walked through the streets. At 15 years old, she had reached her breaking point. Every day was a battle. There was no one who cared her about her. Not her mother, who had just married her 5th husband and barely even noticed that she was there. Not her teachers, who would always tell her to ignore the others. And especially not the others. The other kids at her school. She was the target of their bullying for as long as she could remember.

It had been the same all the time. When ever her mother remarried, she had to move to another town. With that came a new school and every time she hoped her life would change for the better, but it never happened. She would always be the victim. It was like she had a kick me sign on her back. Her newest school, here in Seattle was especially bad. She was used to being pushed around and all the name calling, but in her new school she got beaten twice already and no one helped her, even the teachers looked the other way.

Last week her book bag got stolen and her mother got so mad, that she got beaten at home too. Sometimes, when she had a particular bad day, she would think back to happier times. Back when her father was alive, well he wasn't her biological father, but Ray Steele was the closest to a father the girl ever had. He was her mothers second husband and he loved her. She even stayed with him after they divorced, but after a year he passed in an accident and she had to stay with her mother again.

She had never felt loved or safe again. After today, she knew she would never feel safe again. It started out as a normal day in school. The usual being pushed around in the hallways, the usual name calling. Nothing she hasn't learned to deal with over the years, but that changed after school. She wanted to do her homework in the library, when finished her homework it was getting late, so she hurried to her locker and that was when three boys from senior year grabbed her and pulled her into the boiler room.

She begged them to let her go. No one heard her screams and when they left she just curled up on the floor. She had no idea for how long she was lying on the cold floor and silently cried. In this moments her last hopes of a better life died. She had nothing left. When she got up, she didn't care that her shirt was ripped open and that blood was coming from her nose and lip. She just wrapped her arms around herself and started to walk with no direction at all. And then she saw it. Like the light at the end of the tunnel the bridge came into her sight of vision.

She walked faster with new purpose. Tomorrow was her birthday, but she didn't want another year of this hell that she called her life. It would all end tonight.

* * *

The young man drove his car through the rain and all he could think of was how much he hated his life. It has been a fight from the start. Surviving his first years with the crack whore that was his mother and her pimp, who would beat him and use him as ashtray was hell. When he was adopted he never felt worthy of his perfect family.

He wasn't perfect. He was nothing, just the same little shit the pimp used to beat and abuse. He used to brawl as a teenager and was a constant disappointment to his otherwise perfect family. That was until she came into his life. His mother's friend, who taught him control by demanding his total submission.

He gave his submission willingly, eager to finally be worthy of his family. To find his place in life, to be anything but the worthless piece of shit, he felt he was his entire life. She taught him well, stopped his drinking, the fighting and that in turn made his parents happy, though they never knew what has brought this changes in their son.

If they had known, things might have been different now. But, it was his choices that brought him to where he was now. She promised her help, help for him to start his own company, but once he dropped out of school, she kept promising to give him the money he needed and never did it.

Today he went to her home again and all his hopes and dreams got shattered. He loved her and thought in her own way, she loved him as well. Once he entered her house he found out he wrong he was. He heard her talking to his husband. They were laughing, talking about her stupid boytoy who still thought she would give him money, when all she cared for was the sex.

When he step into the room, there was no regret or any emotion on her face. She just kept laughing at him and told him how fucking was all he was good at and that he should consider this as his career choice. He was crushed to hear her laugh at him, hear her say these things about him and left the house. That was the final straw for him. All those years he believed she saved him, when in reality she just used him.

He would never be worthy of his family. He wasted his on chance of making them proud by dropping out of college. He had no idea where to go from here. He wouldn't give all those people who wanted to see him fail the satisfaction of seeing him work in some burger joint or have five jobs just to meet months end. He always wanted to proof them wrong, but today he was proven wrong. He was the failure the all said he would be.

He kept driving with no direction at all until he saw it. It was like the light at the end of the tunnel. The solution to all his problems. He drove faster, wanted to reach the bridge and finally end it. He was doomed from the day he was born, so why not take the easy way out and just end it today, he thought.

* * *

The girl stared into the water below the bridge and prayed that she would see her father when all was over. She was just about to climb on the railing when she heard a bitter laugh behind her. She turned around and saw a boy, maybe a couple of years older than her. He was beautiful and looked as sad as she felt.

"Looks like we both had the same idea. So, do your thing, ladies first" he muttered gesturing for her to jump first.

She continued to look at him and wondered why he wanted to do this. "We could jump together" she offered. She had no idea why she said that, but maybe it wasn't as scary as it seemed now, if she had someone who would do this with her.

He looked up at her and stepped closer. She took a step back, afraid he would get angry, but he gasped when he saw her face in the light that came from one of lights on the bridge.

"How old are you?" he wanted to know and she sighed. She didn't want to talk anymore. If he wasn't going to jump with her she would do it alone. She turned around again and tried to climb on the railing, but with her sore body, the fact that it was slippery from the rain and her clumsiness, it wasn't as easy as she thought it would be.

The boy watched the girl trying to climb on the railing and something in him told him he couldn't let that happen. He grabbed her and placed her on her feet a couple of steps away from the railing. That was when he noticed her ripped clothing and the blood on her nose and lip, but it were her eyes that really touched him. She had the most beautiful eyes. Huge blue orbs that seemed to stare right into his dark, tortured soul.

More so, he could see the same pain in her eyes. It was ironic, he came here determined to end his life and now looking at the girl who clearly had the same purpose he wanted nothing more than to keep her alive. She was too young to die, too beautiful to just give up before she had even began to live.

"Why are you stopping me?" she sobbed and he looked at her shivering in the cold rain. He took his jacket off and placed it around her slim shoulders. She was so tiny, it covered her knees.

"You are too young to end your life" he said and she snorted. "And you are old enough to do it?"

"Well I'm 22. I'm an adult and can do what ever I want. You haven't even began to live."

The girl looked at the boy and all she could think of was that she didn't want him to jump off that bridge. She had no idea why she suddenly cared so much about the faith of a complete stranger, but she did. And suddenly an idea formed in her mind.

"So, 22 is the right age to decide to die?"

"I guess" he shrugged and she nodded slowly. "Then let us make a pact. Right here, tonight."

They boy was intrigued and to his own surprise he realised he would do just about anything to stop the girl from ending her life on this bridge. He watched her look at her wrist watch and sigh again.

"It's midnight, my birthday. I wanted to be with my dad by now" she muttered sadly and then she looked at him again. "Lets make a pact. We will promise each other to try. I mean really try to turn our life around. And 6 years from now we will meet here again at midnight. If we still want to end it, we do it together. If not, we just talk"

"Why midnight?"

"Because six years from now at midnight I will turn 22. You said at 22 it is the right age to decide to end it. You have to promise to really try to turn your life around and so will I. Are you in?" She held her hand out to him to seal the deal and without thinking he took it.

They both felt the charge between them and just stood on the bridge, in the middle of the rain holding each others hand for a while. Neither of them believed in faith or destiny, but it was just that what had brought them together at that night.

"I guess we should leave now. Can I drop you of somewhere?" he asked not wanting to leave her on the bridge in the middle of the night.

The girl looked at him and thought for a moment until she made up her mind. She had just promised to try to turn her life around and in that moment she knew what to do first.

"Yes, the nearest police station." she said. The boy nodded, led her to his car and held the door open for her. The drove in silence to the nearest police station and he parked out front. The girl was just about to take his jacked off when he stopped her.

"Keep it. It's cold outside."

"Are you sure?" he nodded and the girl frowned for a second, then reached to the back of neck and opened the necklace she was wearing. She took it off and held it out to him.

"My dad gave it to me for my 6th birthday. He said it is a talisman. Maybe it will bring you luck" she said and he took it. She smiled at him and got out of the car.

"Wait, what is your name" he called after her.

"I'll tell you in six years" she called back and with one last wave she disappeared into the police station.

The boy took a deep breath and looked at the necklace in his hand. He had six years to turn his life around, maybe that was enough time to proof himself to the world.

**So what do you think? Please leave a review :-)**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: First of all, thank you for all the follows, favs and reviews. I'm glad you like the story. I have to admit that I have no outline or anything for this story, I just write it as I have an idea. Since I now have three ongoing stories, I came up with a schedule for each one, so I will be able to update each story regularly. For now there will be one update each week for this story. If I have time or leave it with a big cliffhanger, there will be bonus chapters, so you don't have to wait that long. **

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to E.L. James.**

_**Ana - 6 years later**_

I can't believe it's been 6 years since I made that pact with a stranger in the middle of the night. I can honestly say that this was the lowest point of my life, but it was also a turning point in my life. When I stepped into the police station that night, I promised myself I wouldn't be a victim any more. I told them everything, starting with the abuse I faced at home, what happened to me in school every day and that I was raped by three of boys from my school.

I had to stay in hospital for a couple of days and they found enough evidence on me, so they could press charges against the three. I never saw my mother again. I wasn't at her hearing or the trial against her. When I had to make my statement she was led out of the courtroom. I lived in different foster families and was home schooled until I graduated highschool. Due to all the stress, I missed my chance of getting a scholarship and decided to work until I could afford to go to college.

I lived in a tiny apartment and worked in four different jobs for almost a year, just so I could save as much money as possible. In the end I didn't need it. One morning when I was working at a diner a man came in asking for me. At first I had no idea what he wanted, but it turned out he was a lawyer who was looking for me. Apparently, I had a great-aunt from my father's side of the family, who passed away and since I was her only living relative, I inherited every thing she owned which was almost 250000 dollar.

At first, I was completely shocked. I had never heard of that woman in my life and suddenly I had money. It took me a week to really comprehend what had happened and then I quit all my jobs and enrolled in college. At the time I lived in Portland, but moved back to Seattle to study there. Now, I only have one more year to go and I will graduate. I decided to study literature and once I have my degree, I want to work in publishing.

I lived near campus for the first three years, but in april the building I lived in got a new owner and he wanted to remodel the place to make it more profitable for him. I was looking for a place to live when I met Kate. She had just graduated college and was looking for a roommate. I moved into her apartment and so far it works. She is nice, though I can tell she has a lot going on in her life, as she is barely here. I guess she is the closest to a friend I've ever had. I never got bullied at college, but I'm still kind of a loner. I'm just afraid that if I let anyone in, they will use me or just acting nice to get what they want.

Kate often says that I need a boyfriend, but she has no idea what I have been through. She thinks both of my parents are dead. I just don't want to get into the details of my life before we met. I don't want her pity and more so, thinking about my past brings back the nightmares I had for more than a year after I was raped. I went to therapy, but it wasn't for me. I learned that not talking about it worked better for me than constantly being reminded of what I went through. I know it is not healthy to push those memories away instead of working on living with them, but for the last 6 years it worked for me.

Today is the day. It's september 9th 2011 and tonight I will go back to the bridge where I wanted to end my life and meet the young man who stopped me from doing it.

I still have the jacket he gave me. I even wear it every year when september 9th comes around. It is a reminder for me, that somewhere out there is a person who cared about me. I remember, even with all that was going on in my life, I checked the newspaper for almost a year to make sure he didn't end his life. I had to stop when the foster parents I lived with at the time had to move to Alaska and I decided to move with them.

It wasn't a good place for me though. I'm naturally clumsy and with all the snow and ice, I managed to break an ankle and wrist in less than eight weeks. The next foster family I lived with wasn't as good as the first one and so I had to move again. In total, I lived in five different foster homes until I was old enough to live on my own. It was never bad, but I never felt like I would fit in. I feel like only now I'm starting to enjoy life a little. I started to work on my style, as I figured that if I want to get a job after college, I needed a better wardrobe. Even if I still have a year of college to go, I started to buy some nice dresses and worked on walking in heels, which still isn't easy for me, but I'm getting there.

Last month, I was at a hair salon for the first time in my life. Usually I would wear my hair in a bun, but I wanted to learn how to create some nice hairstyles, so I decided that it would be best to cut my hair first. The hairdresser was shocked when I opened the bun and my hair fell down all the way to the midst of my thighs. I told him I wanted something that was easier to handle for me and we decided together to cut my hair in a layer cut that would end at my waist. Now, it is much easier for me to handle and I learned to do some nice updos with it.

I look up at the clock in the livingroom of the apartment I share with Kate and sigh. It's nine in the evening. Three more hours and I will see him again. I wonder how his life has turned out in the last six years, because I know he will show up. I know it sounds weird, but through out all of those years I had moments where I felt like he was there with me. The first time was when I graduated. I was in this home school program where at the end, all the other kids that were in it to would come together and had their own graduation ceremony. When it was my turn to receive my diploma, I had this strange feeling like someone was watching me. Yes, of course there were people watching me, but I could feel _**him**_ watching me. I looked around after I got my diploma, but couldn't see him.

This was just the first of many occasions where I felt like he was there with me. Especially since I moved back to Seattle it got a lot more, but I never saw him. I thought about finding out who he is, but I had no idea where to start and so the years passed by until today the waiting is over. I'm going to see him again and for some reason, I want to look as good as possible. When we met I was a mess, so now I want to look pretty.

I take a long, hot bath before I start to get ready. First I get dressed in a floaty knee-length yellow skirt and a frilly white blouse. I slip on some nice flats and leave my hair open. Yes, I look cute like this, I hope he likes it. This is the first time in my life, I want to look nice for a man. Actually, this is the first time in my life I have a date, well, if you want to call it a date. After what happened to me, the thought of being alone with a man scared me, so until this day I never had a date or boyfriend, but if he wanted to date me, I wouldn't say no.

At 10:30 pm I go back into the living and watch TV, so I have some distraction until it is time to go. I'm startled when I hear the door open and Kate comes in. Usually she is somewhere else on the weekends. I look at her and gasp. She is a mess, her hair is unruly, she is in sweatpants and a tank top, no shoes, but worse, she is crying.

"Kate, what happened?"

"He kicked me out, he said we are done" she sobs and I sigh, get up and hug her tightly to me. I knew she was seeing someone, but I thought it was just a casual thing. Now I realise, she was really serious about it.

"I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do for you?"

"No, I'm going to bed, could you bring me some ice cream and Advil?"

"Sure, go ahead, I'll get the what you need." she nods and walks towards her bedroom. Inwardly I'm glad she wants to go to bed, I know this might be selfish, but there is no way I'm going to sit with her all night and miss meeting my stranger after all those years. Tomorrow I will be there for her gladly, I don't care if it is my birthday, as I have never celebrated it anyway, but tonight I need to be on that bridge at midnight.

So, I get the Advil and some chocolate brownie ice cream for her and get into her room. "Here, do you want me to sit with you for a while?"

"No, I want to be alone. Are you going somewhere, you look nice?" she sniffs and I smile.

"I have kind of a date, I'll tell you tomorrow."

"Okay, but be careful, men are assholes, they rip your heart out and play soccer with it, if you give them the chance."

"I'm careful, I promise. I don't have to leave for another hour, if you need something, just call me." she nods and I leave her room. I hope that I will never have to go through all of this heartache crap. I know this is not realistic, but if I find the one, and I think I already have 6 years ago, I want it to last forever.

I sit back down on the sofa and watch TV until I decide it is time to leave. I get up, take my purse and put his leather jacket on before leaving the apartment. I walk towards my car and still smile just seeing it. When I moved in with Kate I decided with living further from campus I needed a car. So I bought myself this 20-year-old Ford, that was more like a death trap, but I didn't see the point in spending so much in a car, that I would only need to drive to college and back home every day.

Two weeks later there was an event at campus with a tombola. They money for the tickets would go directly to charity and one person could win a brand new Audi TT convertible in silver. Knowing my luck, I decided to not even try, but one of the guys that were selling the tickets for the tombola came directly to me and asked me if I wanted to buy a ticket.

The guy looked more like a bodybuilder than anything else and frankly I was a little intimidated, but since it was for a good cause, I decided to buy a ticket. I nearly fainted when I won the car. I mean, I'm not a person who had a lot of luck and suddenly I won a brand new car. I love to drive it, actually since I got it some times I just get in my car and drive with no direction at all, especial when the weather is good.

I get into my car and start the engine. The drive to the bridge is short and I arrive 10 minutes before midnight. I park and get out of the car, wrapping his jacket tighter around me when she chilly breeze hits me. Standing here now, it hardly feels like any time has passed at all since that night 6 years ago.

And I have this feeling again, this feeling like he is here watching me. I turn around, but I can't see anyone. I start to walk back and forth, getting more and more nervous with any passing minute. He will be here shortly I know it. I stop walking and look at my watch again, a quarter past midnight. So, he is going to be late, I can wait, it's not like I had other plans.

I lean against the railing and just wait, still feeling like he is here, but I can't see anyone. Maybe it is just hopeful thinking, I don't know, but I wait, and wait ... and wait. At 1:30 am I give up. It started to rain, I'm freezing and I realise he isn't coming. I look at the bridge one last time and start to walk toward my car, but stop and turn back around. I take the leather jacket off and place it on the railing. I don't want it anymore.

I get into my car and suddenly all I want to do is curl up and cry. I can't help the tears that are streaming down my cheeks, I rest my head against the steering wheel and succumb complete to my tears. Of course he didn't come. Why would he? I bet he forgot all about me the moment I left his car. How stupid I was to think he would be here tonight.

After 30 minutes of crying like a baby I finally manage to stop crying and take a deep healing breath. This is it, all this time I saw him as some kind of a soul mate, but it was just wishful thinking, I'm still alone in this world, but at least I'm no longer the scared girl I was back then, I can survive on my own and maybe with time I will find someone who wants to share my life with me.

_**Next update will be Christian's POV ... until then, please leave a review :-)**_

_**Sunny**_


	3. Chapter 3

Christian - 6 years later

The sound of the whip coming down on the blonde woman who is bend over the whipping bench in my playroom is one of the most satisfying sounds in the world to me. I'm the master of my universe, I'm in total control of my life and anyone around me. All those people who believed I would end up like the crack whore can't say shit about me anymore.

When I bring the whip down for the 10th time it's even harsher than the times before that and in my mind it is Elena Lincoln who is before me and has to take the punishment. She got what she deserved years ago, it was my goal to make her pay for the humiliation she put me through that fateful night 6 years ago. I knew she was fucking other boys and so I told my dad everything he needed to know about Elena. I never told him how I found out that she was a pedophile and I guess he was too afraid to ask me if I was one of her victims. Now, she is in jail where she belongs.

"RED" I hear the sobbed scream and drop the whip furious. This is it, I'm done with her.

"Meet me in my study in 30 minutes" I snap and leave the playroom. I get into my bedroom, strip and get into the en suite to take a quick shower. 30 minutes later I'm dressed in black jeans and a black t-shirt, waiting for my submissive in my study.

As she enters my study I want to snort. She looks pathetic with her puffy eyes and tear stained face.

"Sit down, Katherine" I order, knowing full well that sitting with give her the most discomfort at the moment and not giving a fuck. I enjoy her discomfort. That is why all my submissives are blondes, blonde like Elena fucking Lincoln, the woman I want to punish the most. Obediently she sits down, wincing slightly, but not saying anything.

"Katherine, we are done. You have safe worded 4 times in the last 4 months that you have been my submissive. I want you to leave my penthouse and you are not to return or contact me for any reason."

"But... please I can learn to be a better submissive. I'll do what ever you want Christian."

"First, you have no right to call me by my first name Katherine, and second, you just don't have it in you. You are not a good submissive, nor will you ever be. I'm expecting you to leave now, Miss Kavanagh." I get up from behind my desk and Katherine gets up as well and glares at me.

"If you kick me out like this, I will go home and throw that stupid wallflower out that you asked me to take in as a roommate!" she hisses and I slam my fist down on my desk, startling her.

"Listen careful now, because I'm not going to repeat myself. You will go home and treat Anastasia just like you did in the past months. I will know if you don't and if you do anything to hurt her emotionally or physically, all those photos I took of you in the playroom will go viral. I will ruin you so fast you won't know what happened to you, are we clear?"

"Yes, Master" she whisper finally showing the right behavior for a submissive.

"Taylor!" I yell and he comes into the study. "Please see Miss Kavanagh out, I want her gone right now, she is not to return here for any reason." He nods and leads Katherine out of my study.

Fuck, I knew it was a bad decision to force a meeting between Katherine and Anastasia, but at that time I had no idea what to do else to make sure she would finally move into a decent area of the town. That girl has no regards for her personal safety. I shouldn't care, we were just to stranger meeting one night and then went our way, but I still feel protective of her.

After that night, it took me a week to find out who she was. I've read a newspaper article about a young girl who was raped by three of her classmates. I just knew it was here and by a random twist of fate my father was her lawyer. He works pro bono from time to time and that was how I found out that her name is Anastasia Rose Steele.

Fuck, it was a shitty time back then. I worked in four different jobs for at least 6 months until my parents finally realised that I was serious about doing every shitty job I could get to somehow get the money to start my own company. In the end they gave me 100000 dollar and I used the money to start what is now known as Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc.

By now, I'm one of the richest men in the United States, but still I couldn't get Anastasia out of my head. Three years ago, I had Welch looking for her and when he told me that she lived in a shit hole of an apartment in Portland and worked in many different jobs, I couldn't take it. She deserved better and I decided to give her a little start-up into a better life.

It was easy to convince her the money came from some relative she had never heard of and just like I hoped she decided to go to college. She is a clever girl and I have to say I'm impressed with her grades. The only thing that really bothered me was the area she lived in. The building was old and not safe at all, but I had no idea what to do to get her into a better and safer living arrangement, so I had one of my security guys constantly watching her. Four months ago when there were several news reports on women being assaulted in that area, I had enough.

I bought the fucking place and send letters to the tenants, that I was going to remodel the place. I knew Anastasia would leave, because she couldn't afford to pay more for rent. To make sure she would move in a safe area I had Katherine running into her. Katherine lives in the pike market district in a nice apartment and having Anastasia live there seemed like a good idea. Now, I'll have to re-think that, I don't want Katherine to do anything to Anastasia, because she is pissed about me ending our contract.

Keeping Anastasia safe can be challenging at times, especially since I don't want her to know I'm doing it. Jesus Christ, I remember when Sawyer showed me a picture of the car she bought herself once she had moved in with Kate. I nearly had stroke just looking at that fucking excuse of a car. It would have been safer for her to go for a run on the fucking highway than to drive that deathtrap.

So, I bought her a Audi TT with the newest safety features and had Sawyer and Taylor arrange some kind of charity tombola at her campus. Of course she got the winning ticket and I could finally stop worrying that she would kill herself by driving that old death trap.

Now, I guess I have to come up with a plan to move her again. Fuck me, this is going to be interesting, I have no idea what scheme I could come up with to get her into a safe apartment on her own. I don't know why, but I have this deep seeded need to keep her safe. There is something about her ... I don't know, but even as the kid she was when we met, she had this weird vibe that pulled at some part of my dark soul I don't want to dwell on.

Tonight is the night. 6 years ago, we made the pact to proof the world that we deserved better. I did it and I guess you could say in her own way Anastasia did too. I have no idea if she will be there, but I will be there, though I'm not planning on showing myself to her. I can't.

I have looked at her pictures every day. She is a pretty girl, but that is not it. I see pretty girls every day and I couldn't care less about them. Hell, I don't even care about the woman I fuck and enjoy beating them in my playroom, but I could never do that to Anastasia and that is the crux of my problem.

If I show myself to her, I know I won't be able to stay away from her. I could never introduce her to my lifestyle, it would probably scare her away anyway, but more so, I could never hurt her and that is what I need. I'm fucked up, I admit it. I enjoy dominating and punishing women, more so I want to break them. I pick my submissives so they remind me of Elena, then I use them and spit them out.

I can't do that to Anastasia. She has suffered through enough in her life, she doesn't need a man who has no heart and the desire to hurt women, to make her life any more difficult. She is better of without me, though thinking about her finding a man she wants to spend her life with drives me insane.

I look at the clock on my desk and see that it is almost 11 in the evening. I leave my study grab a jacket and tell Taylor that I'm leaving alone. I don't need him with me, after all I'm just going to watch Anastasia, well, that is if she remembers and shows up.

I take the elevator down to the garage and get into my R8. I park my car around the corner of the bridge and get out. I find a spot to hide and just watch the bridge. 10 minutes before midnight I know she is coming. I can feel her before I see her. Over the years I watched her often from a far. It was always the same, the moment we were near each other it was like there was an invisible cord between us that was trying to pull us together. I know she felt the same as she started to look around like she was searching for someone, for me, but I always stayed hidden.

Finally, I see her car pull up and she gets out of it. For a second I can't even breathe. She is so beautiful and then I realise that she is wearing the leather jacket I gave her that night. It touches me, that even after all those years she still has it and I reach into my pants pocket and grab her necklace. I always kept it and carry it with me ever since she gave it to me that night, it has become my lucky charm and I would never leave Escala without it.

As the time passes I can see Anastasia's expression change from nervous to sad and it tugs at my heart that I am the one who is making her sad, but still, she is better of without me. More than an hour passes before she finally gives up and turns to leave. I watch her almost in horror as she takes the jacket of and places it on the railing of the bridge. Oh fuck, it feels like she is giving up on me and when she sits in her car I can see that she is crying, hard.

For the first time in a very long while, I feel like a complete and utter asshole. I know what I do is for the best, but I don't want her to feel like I have forgotten her and the pact we made. When she drives away I walk to the bridge, grab the jacket and come up with a plan. I drive back into town and to her place, take my notepad and a pen out and write a quick message.

Anastasia,

I never meant to hurt your feelings. Just know that I was there watching you in that beautiful yellow dress. It is for the best if we don't see each other, but I need you to know that I have never forgotten about you or our pact.

C.

I place the jacket and the note on the hood of her car and tell Sawyer that he has to come over and watch it so it will be there tomorrow morning. Once he is there I leave, still feeling like shit for making her cry, but still convinced that it was for the best. I will continue to watch over her, but I can never be a part of her life.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: First of all I want to thank everyone who takes the time to read my story. Also a big thank you to all of you who have reviewed. Some of you don't like the fact that Christian was with Kate, I totally get it, but I needed her in the story for a reason, which will become clearer over the next couple of chapters. **

**I wish I had the time to reply to every review, but right now I'm glad when I can make the time to update. I hope once the holidays are over I can find the time to reply, if not please know that I love hearing from all of you and that your thoughts are really helping me to develop my stories. **

**To the guest who said that it was too long a wait for such a short chapter in his review for chapter three. I don't think that 4 days is a really long time to wait and as for the length of the chapters. I aim to make them between 2000 and 3000 words, I can try to write longer chapters, but that would mean a longer wait between each chapter, so I don't know if this is better, let me know...**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to E.L. James. The storyline however is mine.**

_**Ana - 1 year later**_

I still remember the morning of my birthday. I've spent most of the night thinking about _**him**_. I didn't want to, but I couldn't stop myself. When I left the apartment the next morning I nearly tripped over my own feet when I saw the jacket on my car. After reading the note I couldn't help but cry again. So, I wasn't crazy. He was there watching me. I didn't imagine it. He was really there.

I've spent days thinking about reasons why he didn't show himself to me. All I could come up with was that he either was ashamed because his life didn't turn out the way he wanted or that he is married and thinks that meeting me would cause him trouble with his wife. Either way, I still take comfort out of the fact that he is somewhere out there watching me from time to time. He still cares.

Over the past year my life has changed a lot. Kate and I are no longer talking. She became really weird after her break up. She would ignore me and bring a new man home almost every night. I became worried about her and called her brother, whom I met when I moved in with her. He tried to talk to her, but she wouldn't listen. 2 months later she moved to New York to work for some huge gossip magazine. Her brother Ethan took over the apartment that her parents had bought for her and asked me if I wanted to stay as his roommate.

At first I had no idea if I should do it or not. Living with a guy wasn't something I was looking forward to, but Ethan was nice so that I decided to give it try and it worked out better than I could have ever imagined. We just clicked and now we are best friends. It's like we are brother and sister and for the first time in my life I know how it is to have a friend whom I can trust without a doubt.

Ethan knows everything that has happened to me in my past and he is really helping me get out of my shell. I don't feel the need to hide anymore. Of course, I have flaws, but I'm a good person and I deserve to be treated with respect.

Another big change in my life is that I have graduated from college and for the last two months I've been working as an assistant at SIP, a local publishing house. I love my job and my salary is crazy seeing that I'm only just out of college. At first I thought they were kidding when the showed me my salary details, but the really meant it, so of course I took their offer.

Originally I applied for the open position as assistant to Jack Hyde, one of the editors, but when I started they told me I would work for another editor and her male assistant would now work for Mister Hyde. Actually, I'm glad about it. I have met Mister Hyde several times and he creeps me out. Tom, his assistant, told me that management switched our positions because apparently Mister Hyde's last 4 assistants all quit within the first four months of their employment and none of them would really talk about the reasons.

Tom gets along with him well and I love Courtney, my boss. She taught me so much already and I'm looking forward to going to work every day. I finally found my place in life and I really fit into the publishing world. Secretly, I hope that in a couple of years I will be an editor. This is my goal and I know I can achieve it. The only thing missing in my life is love. Ethan tried to set me up on dates with his friends and I went on some dates, but it just never happened. Deep inside I know the reason. I'm still holding on to him, the stranger I met now nearly seven years ago.

It's crazy, but I know that if we would meet and give it a try, we could make it work. I don't care if he has not managed to turn his life around. It would be bad if he is married, but at least I would know that I have to move on. As it is, I still hold on to the hope that one day we will meet again.

Today is a busy day at work and Courtney, my boss, already asked me yesterday if I could work longer today. She is going to a conference in New York next week and has a lot of things to prepare for it, so it will probably mean that I have to work overtime all week, but I don't mind.

What I really like about my workplace is, that I don't have to dress up all business like. Most of the women wear dresses every day and it fits my new-found style perfectly. So today I'm wearing a cream-colored dress with half-length sleeves that covers my knees, brown boots and a necklace with matching feather earrings. In most companies this would be a no go, but here everyone dresses as he likes, so I fit right in.

I spent my lunch break with Claire who works at reception and we go to a nearby deli.

"Have you heard it Ana?" she gushes all excited.

"Heard what?"

"Christian Grey, the owner of our company, he is supposed to stop by this week. Oh my god, what am I going to wear Ana?"

"Try clothes, I mean he is just some old businessman, why would you care?" Claire gapes at me as if I had lost my mind.

"Ana, are you kidding me? You don't know who Christian Grey is?"

"Umm... our boss's boss' boss?"

"Yes, and other than that he is like the most gorgeous guy in the world. He is 29 and single. Ok, there are rumors that he is gay, but hell, he is a freaking billionaire, Ana and you have no idea who he is?"

"Well, I don't watch TV often and I don't read gossip or business news. So, no I have no idea who he is."

"Wow, that is so weird. Anyways, I don't have my phone with me, so I can't show you a picture, but I show you later or tomorrow. Really Ana, you need to see him, just imagine the hottest guy you have ever seen in your life and I promise you, Christian Grey is ten times hotter, at least."

"Ok, do I need to worry because you have his pictures on your phone?" I giggle and looks a little embarrassed.

"A girl can dream" she muses and we both laugh. "Yeah, 29, billionaire and single, even though he is hot as hell, there must something wrong with him."

"Says the total babe sitting in front of me, that hasn't had a single date since we met and is completely oblivious to all the guys at work lusting after her." she mocks me.

"Oh, come on most of the guys at work are married."

"Tom is not, and he likes you Ana. And what about your roommate, that guy is sex on legs."

"Ethan is like a brother to me Claire, but if you like him I could arrange a date for you."

"No way, I mean you wouldn't mind?"

"No, I told you he is like a brother, why don't you come over to my place saturday. Ethan and I want to cook together and go for a drink later, I could fake a major headache and you have him all to yourself" I wink at her and she beams at me.

"Deal, oh but don't tell him about my celebrity crush on Christian Grey."

"Wouldn't dream of it" we clink our water glasses and enjoy our salad for lunch before we have to go back to work.

The afternoon is so packed with work, that I can barely make time to use the restroom and I'm still working when Courtney comes out of her office.

"Ana, could you do me a huge favor. I'm famished, would you mind going to the kitchen and grab me something to eat."

"Sure, anything specific?"

"No, what ever you'll find will do." she says with a bright smile which I return as I get up. I really like Courtney, she is in her mid-thirties and easy to work with, if she wasn't my boss, I could really see us as good friends. She has this motherly vibe around her and it is a lot of fun to work with her.

I make my way to the office kitchen and look at the contents of the fridge, but everything belongs to someone else, so I close it and turn around to look for something else, but I nearly jump out of my skin when I see Mister Hyde leaning against the door jamb.

"Oh my, you scared me" I mutter and press one hand flat against my chest to get my breathing back under control.

"I'm sorry Anastasia, I had no idea someone else was working late." he says and something about his tone has me on high alert.

"Yes, Courtney and I are still working, she is hungry so I was looking for something to eat for her. I guess there is nothing here, I'll just order something." I mutter and want to leave the kitchen, but he is blocking the door and now I'm really alarmed.

"I need to go back to work Mister Hyde." he closes the door, locks it and I take a step back looking around for a potential weapon, because I don't like this at all.

"Oh, I think you will stay here and listen to me. You know Ana, I wanted you as my assistant, I chose you and then, all of a sudden Christian Grey switched you against Tom. I wonder how that happened" he hisses and I take another step back. Christian Grey did this? Why would he care, well, it is his company, so maybe he heard the rumors about Jack and his assistants as well.

"Mister Hyde, I really have no idea what you are talking about. I have no connection to Christian Grey other than that he is the owner of the company I work for. I was surprised too, that I was switched to work with Courtney after I applied for the position as your assistant, but it is what it is."

"Oh really" he laughs and it is one of those scary laughs. Oh, I need to get our of here! "I think you do know him or why is it that your salary is higher than mine Ana. Why does a girl in a lower position earn more than some of the editors, tell me?"

"I have no idea, the salary was offered to me like this and how do you know what my salary is?"

"That is not relevant" he snaps. "What is relevant, is the fact that I wanted you and now I have to work with that fucking sunny boy. I think you and I need to make a deal. I mean you wouldn't want anyone here to know that Christian Grey is treating you as his little pet project, maybe you got this job and your salary in exchange for sexual favors."

Ok, that's enough. "Mister Hyde, if you want to complain about my salary we should get HR involved. I already told you that I have no connection to Christian Grey and I have never been intimate with him!"

While we were talking he took several steps towards me, while I was stepping back with each step he made and now I'm literally with my back against the wall and he is reaching out with his hand to touch me.

"We don't need HR. All that needs to happen is you being a good girl now, no one has to find out Ana." he says in a husky voice and I feel sick. I want to scream, but I'm paralyzed, this can't be happening, not again.

"Yes, you are a good girl, aren't you Ana?" he mocks me and suddenly he grabs the collar of my dress and rips it open all the way down to my navel.

Hearing the fabric rip brings me back to a night nearly seven years ago, the night of the pact, the same night I promised myself to never be a victim again.

I find my voice, scream at the top of my lungs for help and Jack hits me so hard in the face that I fall to the floor. I can taste blood and it trickles down from my cracked lip and bleeding nose, but at the same time I hear footsteps and Courtney screaming my name.

"You fucking bitch" Jack screams and pulls me to my feet by my hair. I hear banging against the door, Courtney yelling for the security and just when Jack lunges out to hit me again the door opens with a loud cracking noise and two security guys followed by Courtney burst into the office kitchen.

The moment I'm free of Jack I drop back to the floor and curl up in the corner by the table. The following minutes past in a daze for me. I barely notice Courtney talking to me and wrapping me in her coat.

"Ana please, talk to me" finally her voice comes through to me and I look up at her.

"I'm so sorry Ana, I had no idea that this asshole was still in the building. Roach and Grey are on their way, they want to see you and Hyde before the police gets involved, but don't worry, he will pay for this."

I just nod, still to shocked to talk. "Can I call someone to pick you up, you will probably have to make a statement first and get examined at the hospital, but I don't want you to go on your own."

"Ethan, my roommate." I croak since my throat is sore from the screaming. "Is his number in your phone?"

I nod again, but just then we hear loud noises and screaming outside. "What is happening?" I murmur and suddenly I feel _**him**_ and there is this pull again. I get up and somehow manage to leave the kitchen. I follow the noises and though my legs are barely supporting me I find the source of the noises.

On the floor of Roach's office is Hyde and beating him to a pulp is a man dressed in an expensive three-piece suit, with copper-colored hair. And I know it, though I can't see his face that it is him.

"Mister Grey, that is enough" another man says and I look over to him and see the guy from the tombola. What in the world is going on here? And suddenly it all becomes clear. He called him Mister Grey. Christian Grey. He signed the note with C. Can it be? My salary, the car, maybe even the money. My head starts spinning and I watch in slow motion as he stops punching Jack and gets up. He slowly turns around and it is true. It is _**him**_. He is Christian Grey.

I can't move and my heart pounds so fast as if it was trying to leave my chest. We just stare at each other and then he takes a step forward.

"Anastasia..." I don't hear the rest of his sentence as the world around me spins faster and faster and everything turns black...

**_I've made a pinterest board for this story, the link is on my profile page. Next update will be up by Wednesday ... if you have time, please leave a review._**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: Hi everyone, first thanks for all the reviews, I love to hear from all of you. I hate to start a chapter with a rant, but since I have no other way to reply to guest reviews here it goes.**

**Dear guest who left this review:** _OMG, he going to have her move in with him. Could you please be more original? Of course he feels responsible and doesn't fell like she is safe...blah blah blah. It been done done done over done and now...it should be dead. Please think of something else._

**First, so far I think, I have done a good job with being original in my stories, if not I apologize for it. Second, it was never my intension to have Christian move Ana in with him. Even if they both feel they have a connection, he still is a stranger to Ana. She lives with Ethan and as a friend, he would never allow her to just move in with a guy she doesn't know. Also, Christian is a very private person and while he does feel protective over Ana, he also has to protect his privacy and moving Ana in with him would mean she would find out about his lifestyle, which he wants to avoid at all costs...**

**I have nothing against readers who voice their opinion or criticize my story or writing, I know I'm far away from being a perfect writer, but if you criticize then do it about something I have written and not what you think I'm going to write because I might surprise you by being more original than you assume I am ;-)**

**Ok, enough rant, now please enjoy chapter 5...**

_**Ana**_

I wake up and blink against the harsh light that is shining into my eyes from a ceiling lamp. Where am I?

"Hey, you're awake. Damn Ana, you scared the crap out of me." I turn my head a little and see Ethan sitting a the chair next to my bed.

"Where am I?"

"At the hospital, you passed out at SIP after that fucker attacked you, your boss called me, I arrived just when the paramedics got ready to get you to the hospital. You have a concussion, but the doctors said you only have to stay one night. The police is outside, they want to talk to you about what happened with that asshole."

I look at Ethan and frown, it takes me a second but then I remember. Jack attacked me in the kitchen at SIP and ... oh my god!

"Where is he Ethan?"

"Hyde? He is in police custody, though he was checked here first, building security knocked him around good."

"No, not Jack. Christian!"

"Christian? Who is Christian?" Ethan looks confused and I sigh. "Christian Grey."

"Christian Grey? I have no idea, he was there when I arrived. I guess he is home by now."

"Did he say something to you?"

"No, why would he?"

"It's him Ethan. You know the guy I met 7 years ago on that bridge. It's Christian Grey."

Ethan looks at me as if I have lost my mind. "Ana, we are talking about Christian Grey, why would a freaking billionaire try to kill himself on a bridge?"

"He wasn't a billionaire back then Ethan and I'm sure. He knew me and it was him who beat Jack to a pulp. And the guy who was with him, his bodyguard, it was the same guy who sold me the tombola ticket with which I won my car. Think about it, it makes sense, the car, an aunt that died that I have never heard of and my crazy salary at SIP which is his company."

"Ok, lets just assume you are right, why would he do all of that for you, I mean sorry, but you only talked for a couple of minutes, why would he do all of this?"

"I don't know Ethan, but the note was signed with C."

"What note?"

"The note he left on my car when he brought back the leather jacket that I have left on the bridge."

Ethan frowns and I know this sounds crazy, but I saw him and I know that Christian Grey is the man I have met all those years ago. I wonder why he isn't here, doesn't he care? Or does he fear the media will follow him here and ask questions?

"You are sure?"

"Ethan, for years this man was the only reason why I kept on going, I would recognize him no matter what. It is Christian Grey."

"Ok, well, we will see what happens next. He knows that you know now, so he has to make the next move."

"I hope so"

* * *

_**5 days later, still Ana**_

I am so angry. He didn't show up, called or even send flowers. Why? I have no idea. He knows that I know, still he didn't show up. Since Roach insisted that I would stay home for 7 days I had time to do my research.

My car, which I thought I had won was bought by Grey Enterprises Holdings Inc., my aunt, well there was no woman under the name that lawyer told me anywhere. So, I assume it was Christian as well. Hell, his father was my lawyer and Dr. Trevelyan, the first doctor who took care of me when I came into the hospital that night is his mother.

He must have found out who I was shortly after we met and has watched me ever since. Still, he chose not to show up at the bridge. But what really makes me angry is that he was the one who bought the apartment building I once lived in and just weeks before I met Kate she interviewed him for her student newspaper. By now, I don't believe that this is a coincidence either.

I called Kate, but she denied that he had anything to do with our meeting. Elizabeth from HR was more helpful. When I called her on friday and asked if Christian Grey had anything to do with my high salary and the fact that I became the assistant of Courtney and not Jack she confirmed it for me. Christian ordered that I would work with Courtney and he pays my salary.

At this point I have no idea why he did it. Is it pity or am I some kind of a pet project for him? The poor little girl who can't help herself, so he jumps in when ever he pleases.

I know, I should be thankful in some way, but right now, I am mad. Clearly he had no intentions to ever tell me who he is, yet he let me hang on to the hope by returning his damned jacket back to me.

And this is why I am now standing out front of Grey House, the headquarters of his company. I want answers. I deserve to get answers and I won't leave until he gives me at least five minutes of his time. Ok, Ana, this is it either he will man up and talk to you or he will not see you and you can finally give up the hope that one day he will be with you, I tell myself, take a deep breath and walk into the lobby.

Behind the front desk sits a beautiful brunette in her early twenties, dressed perfectly in black and white.

"Hi, my name is Anastasia Steele and I would like to see Mister Grey." she looks up at me and gives me a warm smile.

"Do you have an appointment?"

"No, but I need to speak to Mister Grey in a private matter. Could please inform him that Anastasia Steele is here to see him?"

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but I have strict orders not to disturb Mister Grey or let anyone up, unless you have an appointment."

Great, what am I going to do now? I take a deep breath and try it again.

"Look, I really need to talk to Christian, it's urgent. He knows me, could you please make an exception and tell him that I am here?"

"I'm sorry, but I really can't help you."

"Fine, umm how do I get an appointment with Mister Grey?"

"You need to contact his assistant."

"And how do I do that?"

"You need her number."

"Ok, so can you give me her number?"

"I'm sorry Ma'am, but I can't do that either." Is she kidding me? How is anyone going to contact him if you can't even get the number of his assistant?

"I see, can you at least tell me if Mister Grey is in the building?" If she says no, I'm going to throttle her.

"Yes Ma'am, Mister Grey is in his office."

"Good, then I'm just going to wait here for him, he has to leave the building eventually." I mutter and she sighs.

"Ma'am it is not allowed to just stay in the lobby for no reason. I have to call security if you do."

By now people are staring at us and I want to scream, I'm so frustrated. Who is he? God? There must be a way to contact him.

"Look, I really don't want to cause any trouble. I just need to speak to Mister Grey for a minute and..." she interrupts me by holding her hand up.

"Ma'am, I understand that you think you have reasons to see Mister Grey, but woman like you come up here every day. Mister Grey is a very busy man, he doesn't have the time to meet every young girl that has a crush on him, now if you would please leave the building, there are people with appointments waiting behind you and you keep them waiting." she says and I blush. She thinks I'm some kind of a weird groupie? What the hell?

"Fine, I'll just wait outside the building" I snap turn around and just then one of the elevators opens and Christian steps out. Our gazes meet and for a second he just stares at me, but to my shock he turns around and starts to walk towards the exit.

"Christian wait, I need to talk to you" I call after him, but he continues to walk and suddenly I'm furious. How dare he ignore me like this and before I can stop myself I hear myself yell :

"Hey, I'm talking to you, you asshole. Don't you dare and walk out on me like that Christian!"

He stops mid stride and the entire lobby falls silent. Oh dear, did I just do that? I can feel the eyes of everyone in the lobby on me and slowly Christian turns around and I can tell he is pissed. Shit, I just called Christian Grey, the owner of this company an asshole in front of at least 30 people in the lobby. Can I please die now?

Christian walks towards me, grabs me by the elbow and drags me through the lobby and into a security office. I just follow him, inwardly wishing that the ground would swallow me up.

He closes the door with a thud and turns back to look at me. His eyes are blazing with anger and I stare down at my hands not able to hold his furious gaze.

"Well, Miss Steele, you wanted my attention, now you have it. But I do hope that you realise that I could fire you for the stunt you've just pulled."

And with that my anger is back. "Well, maybe I wouldn't have had to do that if you wouldn't have ignored me." I hiss and he smirks at me, though it is not an amused smirked, but an arrogant one.

"What do you want Miss Steele?"

"I want to know why you did what you did! The car, the money, the apartment, my salary and switching my position so I have to work for Courtney instead of Jack."

"I have no idea what you are talking about!" Oh no, he didn't. Is he kidding me?

"Are you kidding me? You want to deny that you bought the apartment complex I lived in, so I had to move, that you somehow made up a story of a dead aunt, so I would get the money to pay for college, that you arranged for me to win the tombola to get the new car and that you are the one paying my salary?"

"Miss Steele, I would recommend that you don't go around and talk to others about this, you sound like a crazy woman." he says arrogantly and I glare at him.

"Well, I can proof it, but if you want to deny it, then tell me why didn't you show up at the bridge last year?"

"I have no idea what you are talking about Miss Steele, maybe you should get checked at a neurologist, you are obviously confused, which can be the result of Mister Hyde's attack on you."

I'm shocked is he really denying that we've met before, that we made the pact on the bridge 7 years ago?

"Oh, so now I am confused? I want you to look me in the eyes and tell me that we have never met before, if you can do that. I will leave, so say it!"

He takes a step forward and stares right into my eyes. "I have never met you before Miss Steele, other than seeing you last week at SIP after Mister Hyde attacked you."

I can't believe it, why is he lying? And suddenly, all I want is to go home, curl up in my bed and cry.

"Ok, have it your way. But you know what? You are a coward and a liar! You know that we have met before and I was about to forget about it when you didn't show up at the bridge, but you had to return the jacket and give me hope. Why did you do that when you obviously don't want to have anything to do with me? You know what, don't say anything, I don't care." I turn around angry at myself that I can no longer contain my tears. I open the door and run out of the office and the building.

Outside I take a few deep breaths and try to get my emotions in check. I am so hurt, it's crazy. I don't know the man, but I feel like someone just ripped my heart out and crushed it.

"Miss Steele wait" I turn around and see Christian, he reaches into his pocket and holds out a handkerchief for me, but I don't take.

"Leave me alone!"

"Please, Anastasia. I don't want you to drive like this. Let me call Mister Kavanagh, your boyfriend can pick you up here."

I stare at him. "Why do you care and Ethan is not my boyfriend, he is my roommate. Have a nice life" I turn around and start to walk towards my car.

"Wait, Ana ... wait, please." I hear Christian yell after me and turn around again.

"What do you want Christian?"

"I... I just thought... he is not your boyfriend, the man you live with?"

"Ethan is a friend, my only friend. He is like a brother to me. I never had a boyfriend in my life and do you wanna know why? Because the only man I ever wanted to be with is you, and now you turn out to be a complete asshole, when I thought ... I ... never mind, it doesn't matter" I can not look at him any longer, I need to go as far away from him as I possibly can. I don't want anything to do with Christian. I reach into my purse for my car keys and throw them at him.

"Keep your fucking car, I don't want anything from you." I sob and just run. Away from him, away from the car he gave me and away from all the people staring at me.

I never felt so stupid in all my life. Here I was thinking that this man is going to be my happily ever after, when in reality he is as far away from being Prince Charming as it possibly gets. How could I believe for 7 years that a complete stranger would be the man of my dreams? I know nothing about him and he doesn't want to know me at all.

I guess it was just a beautiful dream that I allowed myself to dream for too long. But now I am awake and who ever is going to be my happily ever after, it will not be Christian Grey. But still, just thinking about it breaks my heart even more...

_**Next update is coming on sunday!**_


	6. Chapter 6

**This is probably the shortest chapter I have ever written, but it will give you some inside into Christian's head and there will be a long update tomorrow...**

_**Christian**_

I watch Anastasia disappear from my view and look down at the car keys at my feet. Christ, I never expected her to show up here. For the entire last year I restrained myself to come anywhere near her. I wanted her to find someone who could make her happy.

When Katherine's brother moved in with her, I wanted to be happy for her, but the jealousy was slowly driving me insane. I want her, I want her as mine, but I know I can't have her. So, I did nothing. I know I'm not good enough for her and my needs won't fit hers. The monster in me would never allow me to enter any other kind of relationship. I need control, I want to punish and control women and if they get emotionally attached, I kick them out of my life. This is who I am, still, I could never do this to Anastasia.

Though, truth be told, when she called me an asshole earlier, I had every intention to drag her into the security office, tie her up, bend her over the desk and spank the living shit out of her. No one dared to talk to me this way in the last 7 years and this little girl has to guts to talk like that to me in front of my employees. I have to smirk thinking about her own embarrassment when she realised what she had done. Her perfect pale skin blushing the most amazing pink, but still, she wasn't backing down.

And those eyes, those huge blue eyes that seem to see right through me into depths of my dark soul. I couldn't go through with my plan to spank her though, because looking in those perfect eyes, I can still see the broken girl I met 7 years ago, the scared and hurt girl who was desperately looking for someone who cared. Sadly for her, even though I care, I can never tell her or let her in. I don't want her to see the monster, I can't let her see the monster.

She needs a guy like Kavanagh, a nice guy who can give her hearts and flowers, marry her and make her the mother of his children. None of those are things I could give her. I need to end this, I made the mistake of giving her hope and I know even if she said she doesn't want anything to do with me, she will still hang on to the hope. She did it for 7 years and I know if you hang on to something for so long, it can be hard to give it up. So, I have to make her see that I am not what she wants or needs, I need her to hate the very thought of me. Ironically, that won't be a hard task. Most people dislike me, I would even go so far as to say if my family wasn't family, even they would not want to have anything to do with me.

Other than that, I'm only surrounded by my employees and I don't think they like me, but that is how I want it. I don't want friendship, I want respect. I saw Elena as my friend, a force for good and it was nothing but a lie. So, I became a solitary man, but this is what I want. The only other thing I want is that Anastasia has a happy life and if I have to hurt her feelings in order to get her there then so be it. It won't take a long time and I will continue to make sure she has everything she needs and is safe until she finds her one true happiness.

"Sir?" Taylors voice startles me from my thoughts and I turn around. "We need to leave for your appointment. What do you want me to do about Miss Steele's car."

"Have someone drive it back to her place. If she denies to take the keys, leave them at the front desk for her." I order and walk towards the waiting SUV. She needs the damned car and I won't allow that she drives some fucking deathtrap.

Well, I can tell that keeping her safe and making her hate me at the same time will be challenging, she is bright, so she will figure out what I am doing, if I'm not really careful. But I wouldn't be where I am today, if I wouldn't be master of any situation and challenge I am presented with.

After a rather boring rest of the day I return to Escala and let Taylor park the car while I enter the building through the lobby. I pass the front desk when Frank, who works behind the front desk stops me.

"Mister Grey, there was a young woman, who left this for you." I look at what he is holding up and feel the anger rise inside of me. Fuck me, she found out where I live and brought back not only the car keys, but also my old leather jacket. I step out of the lobby and sure enough parked outside is her fucking car.

I get back inside, grab the jacket and the keys and just then notice that there is also a note. Having found out today that Anastasia can be quiet challenging, I decide to read it once I'm upstairs in my apartment. The moment I step out of the elevator, I walk straight into my study, throw the car keys and jacket onto the small sofa in the corner and pour myself a glass of bourbon.

I sit down in my chair and open the note.

* * *

_Christian, _

_since you chose to lie to me today and to treat me like a complete and utter idiot, I'm now returning YOUR car and YOUR jacket, AGAIN! Do not try to return it back or I will find another way to get rid of it, preferably by burning both right outside your company headquarters. As I assume, you are aware that I don't have 250.000 dollar just lying in the corner somewhere, so I will start the next month to pay you back a certain amount of money every month. Since I'm sure that you won't take it in person, I will just leave the money every month with the front desk of Escala. If you dare to give it back to me, I will burn it aswell, which will give me great pleasure since it is YOUR money and not mine! Do not try to interfere in my life anymore, I will know if you do and since you denied that you did it in the first place, you would only make a foul out of yourself. _

_Sincerely, _

_Anastasia Rose Steele_

* * *

I close my eyes and take a deep calming breath. When it doesn't seem to help I start counting first to ten, then to 100, but I'm still fucking pissed when I'm done counting. I never in my life wanted to punish anyone so badly as I want to punish Ana right now. How dare she? All I did was taking care of her and this is how she reacts to it? Fuck!

I down my bourbon and pour me another only to repeat that action twice more. It's a good thing I don't have a sub at the moment, because otherwise I would be tempted to take it out on her instead of Anastasia and it wouldn't end well.

I read the note again and suddenly, I know what I have to do. You think you can play games with me and take this tone with me Miss Steele. Well, game on, Miss Steele! I take my phone and search for a number until I find it. It rings three times and then the person I want to speak with picks up.

"Roach, this is Christian Grey. I'm calling you about Miss Anastasia Steele..."


	7. Chapter 7

_**Ana**_

Taking the bus to work is a new experience, but I don't mind. I just listen to the music on my I-pod and think back of the last two days. I was so mad on friday, I couldn't see straight. Once I got back home and my tears dried I recalled our meeting in my head and what stayed with me was the anger.

When one of his staff members returned the damn car I was ready to go back to Grey House, find Christian and kick him until I'm too tired to move. Ethan tried to reason with me, that it was not clever to piss off the owner of the company I work for, but this is not about my job. This is about him being a complete asshole. So, I took his damned leather jacket, wrote a note and delivered the note, jacket and car back to Escala.

Thankfully, he didn't even try to return the car or the jacket, so I think he got the message. Truth be told, I still can't get him out of my head, but now it's not because I hang on to the hope, that one day he is going to be my happily ever after, no, it's because I want show him, that he can not treat me like this.

I have to take a deep, calming breath or else, I might stay in the bus for a few more stations and go back to Grey House. Instead, I get out at the bus station near SIP and walk the short distance to my work place.

Once inside I smile when Claire jumps up and hugs me tightly. "Oh Ana, I'm so so sorry. Urghh, Jack is such an asshole. Thank God, he got finally fired. Are you ok?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Thank you Claire. How about we have lunch together and you fill me in on everything that happened around here while I was away."

"Sure, oh and Mister Roach asked me to send you to his office" she says and I frown.

"Did he tell you what he wants?"

"I don't know, hopefully he will apologize that he didn't fire Jack earlier."

"Maybe, well I'll better go up then, see you at lunch." I walk towards the elevator and get in with many of my colleagues. I press the button for the top floor and once there Roach's assistant Melanie tells me that I can go straight in.

"Miss Steele, it's good to see you again. I hope you are feeling better after what happened, please take a seat." Roach greets me and somehow, I have a bad feeling about this meeting, but I manage a smile and sit down.

"So, have you recovered well, Miss Steele?"

"Yes, thank you Sir, I was really looking forward to coming back to work."

"Yes, that is good. You see Miss Steele, this meeting is about your work description. As you know from your contract, you are not hired by SIP, but by GEH. Furthermore it says that if needed, your position within the company can change. You see, I had a phone call from Mister Grey, apparently his latest assistant PA got fired and now he needs a replacement as his assistant is drowning in work. To make this short, starting today, you are the assistant PA of Mister Christian Grey and will work at Grey House."

.God! Did he really just say that? This has to be a nightmare, surely I will wake up soon. This is so not going to happen.

"Did you hear me Miss Steele?" I look up at Roach and slowly realise that this is not a dream. Fuck! I'm going to kill Christian for this! What is his deal, friday I was the crazy woman he didn't know and now he wants me to work for him? The guy is completely nuts!

"Miss Steele, I know this is very unusual, but you should go over to Grey House now or you will be terribly late. I wish you all the best for your future." Mister Roach get's up from behind his desk and I shake his hand and leave without another word.

I want to kill Christian Grey. What the hell is this all about. I am so angry I can't wait for the elevator and take the stairs instead. When I'm at the lobby level again I storm towards the exit, but Claire stops me.

"Ana, what happened? Oh my gosh, you look mad, he didn't fire you or did he?"

"No, but I am no longer Courtney's assistant, take a good look at the new assistant PA of Mister Christian Grey." I hiss and hear eyes nearly pop out of their sockets.

"You are going to work for Christian 'sex god' Grey?"

"Yes, though I have other names for him which are way more suitable."

"Wait, do you know the guy?"

"It's a long story and I have to go to Grey House, Claire. Let's meet for lunch, there is this nice little italian place, you know the one where the serve the great ravioli's?"

"Yes, I know, I'll be there and then you have to tell me everything. Oh my gosh, I'm so jealous, you get to see him every day" she gushes and I somehow manage a smile and leave. Since I'm already late, I take a cab and arrive at Grey House 10 minutes later.

In the lobby I groan inwardly when once again I find myself standing in front of the young woman behind the front desk.

"Ma'am, I do remember you from last friday and after how you behaved, you should leave now." she snaps and I glare at her.

"Well, on friday I came here to talk to Mister Grey, today I don't. Today I am here to work, my name is Anastasia Steele and I am Mister Grey's new assistant PA." I snap back and her mouth pops open, but she checks her computer, makes a phone call and 2 minutes later Christian's bodyguard appears. "Good morning Ma'am. My name is Jason Taylor, please follow me" he says politely and I glare at him and follow him.

10 minutes later I have my new work ID, a blackberry, an I-pad and a Macbook pro, all courtesy of my new boss, who wants his assistants to have the latest technical gadgets.

"Oh, before we go up Miss Steele. Mister Grey discovered that you currently don't have a car, so he wants you to use one of the company cars." Taylor reaches into his pockets and when I see the car keys he is holding out, I close my eyes and count to ten.

"You better stay within two feet of your boss for the rest of the day, because right now, I want to rip his head off!" I hiss take the keys and storm out of the security office. How dare he giving me the fucking car back, again!

He catches up with me in the elevator and presses the button for the top floor. Thankfully, he doesn't say a word and once the elevator stops we get out and I am greeted by very attractive brunette. Come to think of it, I haven't seen a blonde neither yesterday or today in this building, that's weird.

"Hello, you must be Miss Steele. I'm Andrea Parker, Mister Grey's assistant."

"Hi, nice to meet you Miss Parker. I'm sorry for being late, but I was only informed today when I arrived at my workplace SIP, that I'm working here now." She gives me a warm smile and shows me to my desk.

For the next thirty minutes she explains me what my daily tasks are going to be and I'm not surprised when she tells me that it can be a trying experience to work with Christian as apparently he can have temper tantrums from time to time.

Once Andrea is finished with telling me what to do, I start my work, but look up every couple of minutes to stare at the door to his office.

"He is in a meeting, let me guess, you are excited to meet Mister Grey" Andrea giggles and I roll my eyes. "Sorry, I mean no. I know Christian, well sort of and if it was up to me, I wouldn't be here. I loved my job at SIP and this is not what I want to do at all." I guess there is no point in hiding my feelings about this job, because I'm sure I will be fired by the end of the week and starting as soon as I am home, I will look for a new job.

"Oh, how did you meet?"

"Long boring story, anyway when will he be back?" and before she can answer me, I feel him and turn around. Standing next to the elevator is Christian and he is staring at me. Slowly he starts to walk towards me until he stands in front of my desk.

"Miss Steele, I see you have already started to work. I want some coffee." and with that he turns around.

"The machine is right over there in the office kitchen, help yourself" I call after him which causes him to stop, turn around and coming back to my desks. He presses his palms flat on the desk and leans down, so we are at eye level.

"You are my assistant now and you will do as you are told. Now, you will get up, walk into the kitchen, make me a coffee and bring it into my office. Understood?" his voice is nothing more but an angry whisper and his eyes are blazing with fury, but I'm not scared.

"As you wish" I get up turn to leave for the kitchen, but look at him over my shoulder one more time. "I hope you don't mind if I spit into your coffee."

Andrea gasps audibly and Christian seems to be counting to ten as he is standing there with his eyes close. I get into kitchen and start to make his coffee when he enters the room and closes the door.

"Listen carefully Anastasia, if you think you can take this tone with me, you are deadly mistaken. I'm your boss now and I demand your respect." Actually that makes me laugh.

"Christian, if you want my respect then you have to earn it. If you don't like my attitude you can fire me, but I am not going to be a nice little assistant when you are walking all over my career by having me work for you. I loved my job and frankly I don't want to be here. So, do me a favor and fire me."

When he starts to smirk I know I won't like what he is going to say next. "First, it is Mister Grey or Sir to you, Anastasia. Second, you wouldn't have any kind of career if it wasn't for me. I paid for your education and I was the one insisting that SIP would hire you. They didn't want you Anastasia, but I made sure that they would hire you anyway. So now, you work for me and like it or not, I will make sure that you won't find any other job until it suits me.

So, from now on you are going to treat me with respect, because if not, I will fire your pretty little ass and make sure that you will never find another job. I can crush you just like I made sure that you had a good life for the last 4 years. Do not test me Anastasia, because you have no idea who you are messing with. Now, bring me my coffee, no milk, no sugar, you have 2 more minutes." and with that he leaves.

Okay, this man is plain crazy. He wants my respect and then he talks to me like this. My ass! I know I should be careful as I can't really afford to get fired, but at this point I don't care. I get a mug from one the cupboards and slam the door shut and pour his coffee. Andrea is still gaping when I pass by her desk on my way to Christian's office. I knock, don't even wait for an answer and get in.

"Your coffee, Christian" I mutter and place the mug in front of him. "Do I have to remind you who to call me again Anastasia?" he snarls, takes a sip of his coffee and starts to cough. Great, what now?

"What the fuck? What is this Anastasia?" he mutters between the coughing. "Coffee, black, no sugar, just like you wanted it."

"No, this is too fucking strong!" he yells and I roll my eyes take the mug and try it. "It's fine."

"Anastasia you will move your ass into the kitchen and fix me a coffee that is drinkable." he hisses and I sigh and turn around.

"One cup of pussy coffee for the boss coming right up" I mutter under my breath and hear his intake of a sharp breath. So, I get back into the kitchen and prepare a less strong coffee for him, I fill it in a mug and get back into his office.

"Better?" I ask after he has taken a sip. "Not much, but at least it is drinkable."

"Well, then I should go back to work."

"One more thing, your clothes."

"What about them?" I look down at myself and I think I look good. I'm dressed in dark jeans, brown boots, a camisole with ruffles and flowerprint and a blue cardigan. Actually, this is one of my favorite outfits for work.

"They are not appropriate for work. I expect you to be dressed more properly tomorrow, a white shirt with a black skirt and pumps will do, now go, I have work to do." and with that I am dismissed. I am so mad, I have to stop myself from slamming his door shut, because if I hear him say one more thing or have to look at him in the next couple of minutes, I will throttle him.

Thankfully, he doesn't come out of his office before lunchtime and I leave as soon as Andrea tells me that I can have my hour for lunch now. I text Claire that I am on my way and since I'm closer I get a table for us and instead of the ravioli I was looking forward to I order a glass of wine and the biggest helping of tiramisu that they have on their menu. I need comfort food, lots of it.

When Claire arrives I'm already eating my tiramisu, though I'm not even tasting it, I'm just shoving as much as I can into my mouth while picturing ways how to torture the crap out of Christian.

"Whoa, girl, you are upset. What happened?" Claire asks while she sits down and takes the menu from the waiter.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking about possible ways to kill my boss which are really painful."

"Oh, come on. He can't be that bad he is..." she stops and her mouth pops open. "Christian Grey" she whispers and I roll my eyes.

"Motherfucking son of a bitch is a better name for him" I mutter and her eyes widen in shock at the same moment where I feel my skin crawl. "He is right behind me, isn't he?" I groan.

"Yes Anastasia, he is" I hear Christian's angry voice and turn around to look at him. "What do you want Christian, I was enjoying my lunch" I snap and he glares at me.

"You are eating crap, this is not nutritious at all." he waves at the waiter and before I know it the waiter is taking my tiramisu away, Christian has ordered me a salad and he sits down at our table.

"What the fuck? Go find your own table, we don't want you here!" I damn near scream and Claire kicks me under the table.

"Ignore her Mister Grey, Ana is having a bad day, you a very welcome to sit with us." she says and I glare at her and down my glass of wine in one huge gulp.

"Do you always drink like that, because if you do, I will have to let you do an alcohol test every day before you start to work." Christian says and I can hold back my temper no longer.

"Maybe this a good idea, because honestly, being drunk is the only way for me to get through a full day of work with you. I don't know what your problem is, but if you want war, you can have it." I get up throw a twenty-dollar bill on the table and leave the restaurant. I am so angry, I need to walk, fast or I will probably explode in the middle of the god damn street. Why does he have to be such an ass?

After walking around for nearly 40 minutes and taking the stairs back up to the top floor, I'm late, but at this point I don't give a fuck. I could just quit, but this would mean he would win and I'm not going to give him the satisfaction of doing so.

Instead I sit down at my desk, start my computer and write the letters I am supposed to write. Thank god, Christian has meetings most of the afternoon, so I only see him leaving his office to go into a meeting and returning to get something before he has another meeting. He doesn't even look my way which works very well for me and finally at 6 in the evening Andrea tells me that I can leave.

This was one long day and I have a feeling there will be a lot of long days in the time to come, but if I have to do a job I hate, with a boss that is a complete dick, I will make sure that Christian hates to work with me just as much.

_**Next update will be this weekend ... I hope you all are going to have great holidays!**_


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry that this update took so long... holidays and all... I hope you all had a great christmas and a happy new year ... **

**To the guest who asked why I hate Ana so much in this story and that it is more angst than anything else :**

**I'm sorry that you feel this way, but I can assure, I do not hate Ana. When I started this story, I had no outline for it ( still don't have one) and all I knew was, that there will be a HEA in the end for them, so it was a given to tag the story as romance. Since I can only pick two genres, I picked drama as second, as this is what I felt it was in the first chapter. I had no idea where this story going and their journey to their HEA is as surprising for me as for my readers. So, I'm sorry if this is too much angst for you and you don't like Ana's language, but I hope as the story progresses there will be more romance and less angst/drama in it...**

_**Ana**_

Arriving home, I'm still fuming. How dare he do this to me? I mean, yes he paid for my education and I should be grateful for it, but right now, I'm just to mad to think straight. I had my dream job, a job I wanted ever since I was a little girl and he took it away from me. And he wants me to call him Sir? Is he still living in the fifties? And what about my clothes, I know they are not exactly suitable for a place like Grey House, but I didn't ask to work there in the first place.

I wish I could just quit my job, but I can't. I have bills to pay and I know he will make sure I won't find anything else. I want to kick myself for donating the rest of the money I had after I finished college to charity. At the time, it seemed like a good thing, I mean my job at SIP was so overpaid, that I never thought I would need the money and I wanted to give back for being so blessed in the last couple of years.

Hah, blessed, my ass! I was played by him all along and this is what makes me that mad. He plays with me like I'm so puppet and he is the one who pulls all the strings. Maybe in his mind he thought he was doing the right thing and I suppose many people will agree with him, but I went through hell to live my life the way I wanted it to be and now I have to realise that I never did. It was him all along. So now I went from being an independent young woman to being a pet project from a bored billionaire who thinks it is completely okay to walk all over my life.

I have to take a deep breath before I open the door to my apartment, because otherwise I would be tempted to slam it shut so hard it my break. Walking into the apartment I see Ethan sitting at the dinning table in our open kitchen.

"Wow, who pissed into your cheerio's? You look mad"

"Christian Grey!" I snap and take my jacket and purse off. "Come here, baby girl, you just sit down, while I'm going to get you a glass of wine and some ice cream."

"The triple chocolate one, please" I sigh and sit down on of the chairs. "That bad?" He chuckles and I just nod. A moment later he places a small bowl of ice cream and a glass of chilled wine in front of me.

"So, what happened?"

I fill Ethan in on my less than pleasant day and scowl at him when he starts to laugh. "Fuck, I'm sorry Ana, but I would have paid to see that."

"Well, glad you think this is funny, but I'm serious about this, what am I going to now?"

"First do you want to work for him?"

"Do I have a choice? He made it pretty clear that I don't have any other options."

"Ana, that's bullshit! He can't do that, he is just threatening you to proof a point, what ever that point might be. And you being the little fire cracker that you are played right into his cards. If you don't work for him, I can get you a job at my father's company any day."

I look at Ethan and in my heart of hearts I know that he is right, I should quit the job first thing tomorrow morning and just find another job. I can find a job in a café or supermarket any time and just work there until I find a better job, but that would mean I gave up and Christian won. I can't have that, I have promised myself I would never give up on anything ever again. No, I will start to send out my résumé again quit once I have found a job that I like. Working for Ethan's dad is not an option either, for once in my life, I want to make it on my own, without any help. Call it stupid pride, but I need this.

"No, I think I know what to do." I look at the clock and frown. "Do you have anything to do right now?"

"No, I'm free, what do you need?"

"Apparently my boss doesn't like my clothes and I don't have anything that would be suitable for Grey House. Would you mind hitting the mall real quick and helping me pick out something that will make his jaw hit the floor?"

"Okay, than we better hurry before the good shops are closing, we can eat out after the shopping."

And so we leave the apartment and Ethan drives over to the mall where I pick a work outfit that is a little too sexy for my liking, but Ethan assured me that this dress will be more than suitable for work, so I trust him and let him choose a couple more outfits, before e have dinner in a nice little restaurant, where I can finally relax a little. As I reflect on the day I come up with a plan. Maybe my approach today wasn't the best and I can make the situation more bearable tomorrow. But one thing is for sure, Christian will regret treating me like he did.

_**Christian**_

I have to say, for the first time in a long while, I'm looking forward to work. Of course, Ana's behavior was poorly lacking yesterday and I hate to treat her like that, but I never had a woman take that tone with me, usually they swoon at my feet and it gets old real quick, so this is very refreshing.

I have to admit though, that I had to remind myself several times that I couldn't drag Anastasia into my office, bend her over my desk, pull her pants down and spank her perfect little ass until she couldn't sit straight for a week. Christ, she is defiant little thing, I would be a pleasure to get her into my playroom and teach her who's in charge, but I can't do that. I know she isn't made for my lifestyle and I don't force women into doing it. Besides, this girl is anything but submissive, and the thought of breaking her will and spirit... no I can't do that.

All I want is that she sees the real me, the monster and once she does she will quit, find a new job and forget all about me. This is what needs to happen. The sooner she quits the better, though deep inside I hope the day won't come anytime soon. This is my one chance to see her every day and once she quits, I will most likely never see her again. I also won't be able to interfere in her life anymore. If she finds out she will still have hope and I need her to move on and find happiness. I'm doomed in my dark place, but she has a right to happiness. She is innocent and pure, nothing like me.

When I arrive at work and step out of the elevator, I stop in my tracks and swallow hard when I see Ana. She is dressed in a tight, bride red dress, black boots with fuck me heels. Her hair is pulled back in a chignon and she is wearing fucking glasses. Damn, I'm screwed. Her usual work attire was not fitting for her new job, but this. Holy fuck, she looks so hot I feel my cock twitch in my pants.

And suddenly I have this vision of Ana. I'm kneeling before her, while she is walking around me, wearing this outfit and flexing a riding crop in her hand.

"You've been a naughty, naughty boy Christian and you know naughty boys have to be punished" I can hear her seductive voice in mind and almost feel the riding crop hitting my naked thighs right under my balls.

"Mister Grey!" Ana's loud voice pulls me back in the now and I gasps. What the fuck? I do not submit to anyone, I'm the Dom, I'm the fucking master of the universe. Yet, the thought of Ana taking the lead with me is hot.

"Are you alright, Mister Grey?"

"Yes Mistress." FUCK! Did I just say that out loud? Judging from the stunned expression on Ana's and Andrea's face, yes I did.

"That has a nice ring to it, but I guess Ana will do for now" she giggles which is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard.

"I'm sorry, I was deep in thoughts. Andrea, my office" I snap and leave Anastasia standing there. Damn it, I just gave myself a massive hard on and for the first time in a long while, I am utterly confused.

"Andrea, I need you to make an appointment with Dr. Flynn for me today, cancel what ever you need to, to fit it into my schedule. Then let Barney know I need to see him ASAP."

"Of course, Sir. Will that be all?"

"Yes" I dismiss her and adjust pants again. Christ, my dick is throbbing so hard I have no choice, but to walk over into my private bathroom and jerk off like a fucking teenager and still in my mind I have this vision of Anastasia working me over with a riding crop. By now, I'm not even sure Flynn will be able to fix me.

_**Ana**_

I have no idea what is going on with Christian, but I'm not surprised when Andrea comes back out of his office and makes an appointment with his shrink. If anyone needs a good shrink, it's him and honestly if I have to work here much longer, I will need therapy as well.

He called me Mistress, how odd is that? At least he looked embarrassed when he noticed what he had just said to me. Hmm, embarrassed Christian is kind of hot... no, no! Don't even go there, I scold myself inwardly. Christian is not hot, well he is, but I won't allow myself to get distracted with his good looks. Instead I wait until Andrea asks me to bring him some paperwork and make my way into his office.

"Andrea asked me to let you sign these papers, Mister Grey."

"What ever happened to Christian" he smirks, but I keep my professional smile. "Oh, it wouldn't be appropriate to call you by your first name here at work, Sir" I purr the last word and his eyes darken dangerously.

"Anastasia, do not try to play games with me, you won't win them."

"I have no idea what you are talking about, Sir. Is there anything else I could do for you, do you want a coffee, Sir" I ask and smile sweetly at him making him glare at me in return.

"Why yes, Anastasia a coffee would be great."

"Coming right up Sir, black and weak, just like you like it, right?"

"Actually, I want him just like the first coffee you made me yesterday."

"Of course, I'll be right back." I leave his office, fix the coffee and bring it into his office.

"Is there anything else I can do you for you, Sir?" I ask sweetly and he looks so pissed I have to bite the insides of my cheeks to stop myself from laughing at him.

"No that will be all" Since I'm officially dismissed I leave I make my way to the door and just when I about to leave his office I hear him cough and sputter.

"God damned, how can anyone drink this" I hear him mutter under his breath and giggle as I close the door and walk back to my desk. I guess someone just learned to make his own coffee, I grin to myself and continue my work until lunch time.

Since I had a little time this morning I prepared my lunch already and go into the office kitchen where the small bowl with fruit salad waits for me. Having started my period today I need lots of chocolate so I take the bottle of my favorite chocolate sauce and whipped cream from the fridge and pour the sauce on it first.

"What in the name of god are you doing there?" I hear Christian behind me and roll my eyes.

"I'm fixing my lunch, Mister Grey"

"Do you have any idea how unhealthy this is, there is no way you are going to eat this" He tries to grab the bowl, but I'm not having it. I take the fork and nearly spear his hand with it, but he is quick enough to pull his hand away.

"Have you lost your mind? You could have hurt me!" he yells at me.

"Well, teaches you not to touch my food, it is none of your business what I am having for lunch and just a fair warning, I can get really mad if someone touches my food, so don't ever try this again."

He looks utterly appalled when I use half of the can of whipped cream on top of my fruit salad.

"Ana, this is pure sugar and..."

"Mister Grey, with all due respect, but what I eat does not concern you. So, just do what ever you want and leave me alone."

"All I want is for you to eat healthy."

"I had a very healthy breakfast and I will have a healthy dinner, this is a treat I allow myself to have once a month, clearly as you can see from my body, I'm not in the habit of eating like this every day. Now please drop it, because I'm hungry and I can get pretty mad if someone keeps me from eating."

"Why?"

I sigh, sit down at the small table and take a spoonful of my fruit salad before I answer him. "After my stepfather died I lived alone with my mother before she re-married. If I disobeyed her or anything else came up that had her upset with me, she would ground me at home and not even allow me to go to school for days, during these times I wasn't allowed to eat. I went days without food many times, since then I get really mad and upset if someone tries to touch my food or tell me I can't eat something, so please do not try this ever again."

I have no idea why I told him this about my past, but if he is in the habit of taking my food away from me, because he thinks it is unhealthy, it is for the best he knows, because I would stab his hand if he would try it again.

"I... umm... I'm sorry Anastasia" he mutters his face as white as a ghost and with that he leaves the office kitchen. For a moment I have the impulse to follow him, but I suppress it and focus on my food instead.

After work I take the same elevator as Christian and he frowns when I press the button for the lobby.

"Where have you parked?"

"I'm taking the bus Christian."

"Where is your car Anastasia?" his voice is eery calm, so I know he is pissed.

"In the garage I guess, but I don't have the keys, I lost them yesterday"

"You lost them?"

"Yes, well, actually I dropped them into the toilet by accident and we have one of those toilets which flush when you move, so the keys got flushed, sorry" I smile at him and he glares right back.

"I will make sure that you get at least three new sets of keys tomorrow."

"Thank you, Christian"

"Oh, so now I'm Christian again?" he smirks arrogantly.

"Yes, the workday is over for today, so now I can call you Christian again and of course, you can now call me Mistress if you like" I wink at him and leave the elevator once the doors open at the lobby, leaving him opened mouthed standing in the elevator.

I leave Grey House and smile to myself. Yes, today was definitely a better day, but still, the moment I get a job offer for a different job, I will take it and finally move on from Christian Grey.

_**Next update will be up by Sunday or Monday... thanks for reading :-)**_


	9. Chapter 9

_**Ana**_

The last two days at work have been uneventful. Christian had to go on a business trip to Vancouver on Wednesday and yesterday he had meetings all day, so I haven't seen him in the last two days. My job, well it's not bad and it keeps me busy, but I still miss my job at SIP and I hope I will have some job interviews in the near future, so I can quit this job and do something I really like.

Andrea is really nice and while we had lunch yesterday, I asked her why there are no blondes working at Grey House. I mean I here for a couple of days now and I haven't seen one blonde female which is kind of weird. She told me, that she is a blonde, but dyed her hair after a friend of hers, who is working at GEH too told her that Christian doesn't hire blondes. That has to be illegal and for a second I thought about changing my hair color, but I don't think blonde will suit me and it will probably ruin my hair in the long haul.

Today I had a dentist appointment in the morning so I started my workday an hour late and Andrea told me as soon as I reached my desk to not even look at Christian today, as he is in a pretty bad mood. So far, I haven't seen and to me that's a good thing. I concentrate on my work and the time goes by quickly today, because before I know it, it's less than 10 minutes until lunch. I finish the letter I was typing and print it just when the elevator doors open and a tall, good-looking guy comes out. He looks out-of-place here in his ripped jeans, work boots and sweatshirt. I take a closer look and wow, this guy is really handsome, he has amazing blonde curls and huge green eyes which are twinkling the moment he sees me.

"Well hello there, I haven't seen you here before" he says with a sexy grin and sits down on my desk.

"I'm Anastasia Steele, Miss Parker's new assistant and you are?"

"Elliot Grey, Mister Grey's older brother." That has me confused for a split second. They look nothing alike. I mean they are both really handsome, but I would never assume that they are related.

"We are adopted brother's" he says as if he could read my mind and I look up at him in surprise.

"You had this look most people who don't know have. So, where are we having lunch, Anastasia?" he asks with a full mega watt smile.

"I don't think your brother would appreciate his staff having lunch with a family member."

"We don't have to tell him." he tries to convince me, but I really don't think that this is a good idea.

"Look, I really don't think Christian will like this and..."

"Whoa, did you just use his first name?" Elliot looks stunned and I sigh. "We kind of know each other, anyway he is alone you can just go in."

"I will, but you have to go to lunch with me I know a nice little..."

"Elliot, stop harassing my staff for fucks sake!" Christian voice is so loud and angry that I flinch, but Elliot turns around and grins at him.

"Oh, come on bro, I just wanted to have lunch with Anastasia. You know, get to know her a little."

"Well, you won't. Believe Anastasia has nothing to offer that you would be interested in. In fact she is boring, so what brings you here."

I can not believe what he just said, he made it sound like we had something going. Oh, he is so going to regret this and before I can stop myself I'm on my feet and grab my coat and purse.

"Come on Elliot, let's do lunch."

"Really, cool!"

He walks around to help me put my coat on and I turn to Christian, who of course, is glaring at me.

"Oh, and Christian, you right, maybe I was boring, but that's only because of what little you had to offer, if you get what I'm talking about." I give him my sweetest smile and leave him standing there his face beet red and his mouth hanging open, while I get into the elevator with Elliot.

As soon as the doors open Elliot turns to look at me. "Did you had sex with my brother?"

"No, but if he tries to make it sound like it, I'm surely not letting him get away with it."

Elliot looks thoughtful for a second and then a face splitting grin appears on his face. "Fuck me, my bro has it bad for you!" he laughs and I frown. What in the world is he talking about?

"I don't think so" I mutter.

"Oh, he sure does. He was jealous, that's why he tried to take my interest of you. Oh, this is too good to be true. Wait, are you interested?"

"Not in this life" I mutter sounding like a petulant child. "So, you do like him" Elliot says and smirks. Damn, what is with these brothers?

"No, I don't like your brother. He is an ass!"

"What has he done wrong?" I look at Elliot and say nothing. I can't tell him how I met Christian and without giving him this information, he would never understand the rest.

"It's complicated." I answer finally, hoping he will let me off the hook. "Well, we have your entire lunchtime to explain it to me."

"Umm, I don't think so, maybe I should go to lunch alone."

"No way, come on, I just want to know what is going on. My brother never had a date in his life and we all thought he is gay, so this is huge. I need more information."

We get out of the elevator and leave Grey House, Elliot convinces me to join him for lunch and so 10 minutes later I'm sitting at a table in a nice little restaurant and flip through the menu.

"So Anastasia, just be honest before I get my hopes up. Is there any chance that you and my brother could become a couple?"

I sigh, put the menu down and look at him. "For a long time, I thought your brother is my Mister Right, but the more I get to know him, the less he matches with what I thought he would be like. At this point, I just want to be as far away from him as possible."

"How long do you know him?"

"We met once, when I just turned 16. We haven't met again until I started to work at SIP which is one of his companies."

"And why are you working at Grey House now?"

"The last assistant of Miss Parker got fired and I was put in as her replacement." I grumble and Elliot starts to laugh. Glad he finds it amusing!

"Oh, this is too good to be true, so instead of hiring someone he gave you the position, so he can see you every day. God, this is too good to be true. Have you had a date yet?"

"No, only some pretty nasty arguments."

"Look, as I told you earlier, Christian never had a date or anything like that before. So, he is probably completely out of his element, maybe you should take the first step. Just ask him out, wear something sexy and..." I hold both hands up to stop him and thank god he stops.

"Elliot, I don't want to have a date with your brother and he wouldn't say yes if I would ask him. Don't waste your energy on this."  
"There is no chance I can convince you to ask him?"

"No, I'm sorry, but this is not going to happen."

We change the subject and order our food after that, but I can tell that Elliot is not letting this go easily. Well, at least I don't have to see Elliot ever again if I don't want to, so what ever he is planing, it is none of my business. I just hope he is not going to try anything to get Christian jealous or something like that, that would be the last thing I need right now.

After lunch I return back to work and Andrea is at my side as soon as I'm out of the elevator.

"Oh dear Ana, you better make sure Mister Grey doesn't even catch a glimpse of you today, he is so mad you can see the steam coming from his ears." she whispers and at the same moment the door to his office opens.

"Anastasia, my office, now!" he yells at me, making me jump and with that he slams the door shut again. Oh, this is not good.

"You better get it over with, sorry, I liked working with you" Andrea says apologetic and I frown. I don't think he is going to fire me. Yell at me, yes, but fire me, I don't think so.

I quickly take my coat of and place it along with my purse on my desk before I get into his office.

Christian is pacing the large room without even noticing me. "Mister Grey, you wanted to see me" I say as calm as possible.

"Oh, stop the Mister Grey crap! I'm dangerously close to having you bend over my desk and spank the living shit out of you Anastasia. Did you fuck my brother?"

I gape at him. I'm not even sure if I am more offended about him threatening me with a spanking or that he just accused me that I had a nooner with his brother whom I only just met. This is crazy.

"First, if you would dare to spank me, I would sue your ass so fast you wouldn't even know what has hit you and second, I only just met your brother and I'm not in the habit of having sex with stranger, not that it is any of your business, mind you."

"Well, you know him now, so are you going to fuck him later." he yells and I have had enough of this nonsense.

"No, I'm not going to have sex with your brother, first because I don't want to and second because he wants me to have sex with you!"

"What?"

"Elliot thinks that you have it bad for me and he wants to hook us up."

"What the fuck have you told him?"

"I? I haven't told him anything, you were the one acting like a complete idiot the moment you saw him talk to me. That is why he assumed you have feelings for me and wanted me to ask you on a date which I denied."

"Because you want to go on a date with him!" he hisses accusatory and I just look at him for a moment. Oh my god, he really is jealous!

"No, I don't want to go on a date with your brother. He is nice, but that's it and even if I would go on a date with him, what's it to you?"

"Oh and why not isn't he good enough for you?" he yells at me again and before I can stop myself the words are out of my mouth. "Because I want you, you asshole!"

Oh no, did I really just say that? Oh, I'm so screwed. I hold his gaze, though actually I want the ground to swallow me up. And Christian says nothing. He just looks at me for the longest time and says nothing.

After a while he rubs both hands through his hair and when he looks at me again, there is new determination in his eyes. Oh shit, is he going to fire me?

"Fine, I tried to get you to understand that I am not the man for you, but obviously it didn't help. I will pick you up tomorrow at 6 for dinner, but don't blame me if what you get is not what you want. Now go back to work, I don't want you to work late all the time."

I think I'm in shock, did he just tell me we would have dinner tomorrow? I must have dreamed it, this is so not going to happen. I simple turn around without saying a word and sit down at my desk.

"Did he fire you Ana?" Andrea asks immediately.

"No, everything is fine." I murmur and start to work. Surely I have imagined him saying that he will pick me up for dinner tomorrow and when I don't see or hear anything from him until the workday is done, I'm convinced that I just imagined it, but what if not? Oh my!

**Next update Thursday... until then, let me know what you are thinking so far :-)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Last chapter someone told me my chapters are too short, so I decided to go for 3000 to 4000 words for this chapter and ended up with over 6000 words which I think is the longest chapter I have ever written. Oh, and some of you might need some tissues for the end of the chapter, I certainly did while writing it ;-)**

**_Ana_**

It's 8 in the morning on Saturday and I'm a nervous wreck. I still want to believe that I imagined Christian telling me we would have dinner tonight, but I know it's not true. I have slept for about 3 hours total last night and I look a mess. Lack of sleep always makes me look a zombie. Staring at myself in the mirror, I'm a lot paler than my usual self, I have dark circles under my eyes and for some reasons when ever I had very little sleep my left eye looks a lot bigger than my right eye. Great, I have a date with Mister I'm-too-sexy-than-it-should-be-legal and I look like shit.

I know I could try to get some more sleep, but I also know that I would just lie there thinking about all sorts of possible outcomes for tonight. I could still kick myself for telling him that I want him. Why did I have to do that? It's not like he is Prince Charming, actually judging from his character he is anything but, but still, there is something about him that I'm drawn to and I'm not relating to his good looks. I have been surrounded by good-looking guys for years now and I wasn't interested in them at all. Hah, I guess I'm one of those women who always go for guys who are bad for them. Well, one thing is for sure, I will use this opportunity to let him have it for his less than nice behavior.

I want answers, I mean why would he make sure that I can go to college, have a safe car and a good job if he is treating me like shit now. And what about his jealousy and calling me boring, making it sound like we were intimate before. Urghh, only trying to figure him out is giving me a headache. I should just call him and cancel tonight or tell him we can't go out as long as I'm his assistants assistant. Oh god, I'm going crazy over this, I need to talk to Ethan about this. Last night he was out with friends, so I don't think he will be up before 9 or 10. I'm usually not the type for an early workout, but I need something to do. So, I grab my gym back from my closet and take the bus to my gym.

Christian had the car delivered with three new sets of keys to my place, but I still won't use it. I still love to drive the car, but I won't, it would feel like letting him win and I won't do that. Taking the bus isn't that bad and on the plus side I never have to search for a parking spot.

In the gym I use the crosstrainer first and then switch to one of the treadmills. After nearly two hours in the gym I am exhausted, so I take a quick shower and get ready to leave, but I'm just outside the gym when I start to feel dizzy. Crap, I guess very little sleep, no breakfast and a two-hour work out is not a good mix. Just when I feel like I'm about to pass out a huge guy in a black suit appears next to me.

"Ma'am, do you need help?" he ask and I look up at him. "No, I'm fine, just a little dizzy."

"Let me take you home, Miss Steele" I'm just about to tell him to take a hike, when I realise that he just used my name. I look at him again dressed in his black suit, white shirt, black tie and black designer shoes and groan inwardly.

"Are you working for Christian Grey?"

"Yes Ma'am. My name is Luke Sawyer, I'm part of Mister Grey's security team."

"Is he here as well?" I start to look around, jeez, is he stalking me?

"No, Ma'am, I'm umm... my job is to make sure you are safe." Is he kidding me? I mean I knew he must have watched me over the years, but this means there is someone following me every freakin' day.

"Since when?"

"Ma'am, please, you look sick, please get in the car, I will answer all your questions then"

"Fine" I murmur and he helps me to a black Audi SUV, I get in, he gets behind the wheel and takes his phone out.

"T, it's Sawyer. Miss Steele got sick, I have her in the car and will take her home now ... yes she knows now... what the fuck T, was I supposed to let her pass out in the street and just wait and see? Yes." he hangs up and I feel bad for him, I guess he is in trouble now.

"I'm sorry Mister Sawyer."

"You don't have to be sorry Ma'am, this is part of my job."

"How long have you been watching me?"

"Since you started at WSU."

"What the fuck... umm sorry... I mean, how did I not notice you all this time?"

"That's my job Ma'am."

"Has Mister Grey told you why he wants you to watch me?"

"No, Ma'am."

"Do you follow me every day?"

"Yes Ma'am" Hell, this is creepy, how could I not notice that there was someone watching me for almost 5 years?

"Do you have to report to him what I do?"

"I'm not at liberty to give you this information Ma'am."

"You do realise that this is stalking?"

"Not if you don't even notice it Ma'am" he smirks and I glare at the guy and scowl when his phone rings.

"Yes... she is fine Sir, just a little dizzy ... we are almost at her apartment Sir ..." The moment I realise he is taking to Christian I lean forward and take his phone.

"Why the hell do have someone who follows me arround, that's majorly creepy, Christian!" I hiss into the phone.

"We will talk about this over dinner, Anastasia. Why are you dizzy?"

"None of your business Christian..."

"Answer my question Anastasia, now!"

"Very little sleep, no breakfast and two hours of work out, happy?" I snap.

"Why haven't you eaten? You should know that skipping a meal is unhealthy. Do I have to ask Sawyer to make sure that you are eating?"

"You know what, we are talking at dinner."

"Don't you dare han..." and with that I end the call, switch Sawyer's phone off and hand it back to him.

"I know you probably are not allowed to answer this question, but does or boss suffer from some sort of mental disorder, like multiple personality disorder" I groan and for a split second I can see the corners of his mouth quirk up in a grin, but his face goes back to impassivity in a nanosecond.

"I am not aware of anything like that, Ma'am"

"Right, could you call me Ana please or at least Miss Steele, I know I look a mess, but I'm still to young to be called Ma'am."

"As you wish Miss Steele" Suddenly, I feel the overwhelming need to laugh, maybe it's me. Maybe I am the one with the mental disorder and I'm just imagining this crazy story while I'm safely strapped into a straight jacket sitting in a padded cell somewhere.

I can't help it, I start to laugh hysterically. I mean let's face it, how big are the chances that a girl like me, with my history meets a stranger in the middle of the night who after years turns out to be a freaking billionaire and is spoiling her with money, a car, the perfect job and anything, but denies to have done any of it. Yet he has me watch for years. At this point I'm laughing so hard that I have tears rolling down my cheeks.

"Miss Steele, are you alright?" Sawyer asks and the look on his face cracks me up even more.

"So...sorry..." I somehow get out and finally when we reach the building that houses my apartment I stop laughing.

"Do you need help to get into the building, Miss Steele?"

"No, I'm better. Umm just curios, are you watching me every day?"

"Yes, Miss Steele"

"I see, well umm thanks for the ride." I mutter and get out of the car. I still feel a little dizzy, but I manage to get into my apartment and grab a granola bar and a bottle of water in the kitchen.

"Hey Ana, wow you look like shit. Are you sick?"

"No, just exhausted." I mutter between bites from the granola bar and Ethan takes a closer look at me.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I just didn't sleep well, had a long work out and forgot to eat."

"I see, oh there was a parcel delivered for you about an hour ago." he says and points to the coffee table in our open living area. I get up take it and frown, no senders address. I open it and take the note that is lying on top of the blood-red gift tissue that is covering what ever else might be in there.

Anastasia,

I'm expecting you to wear this for our dinner tonight.

Christian

I close my eyes and take a deep breath, he is ordering me to wear clothes he picked out? And how would he know my size?

Reluctantly, I pull away the first layer of gift tissue and pick up the black lace dress that is really short and sexy. I check the size and scowl, sure the guy has me watched for years now, of course he knows my size. I put the dress down and pull away the next layer of gift tissue to reveal a short white wool coat with black tulle ruffle coming out at the end. I just put it down next to the dress and take the shoe box out that was underneath it. I open it and reveal a pair of black Jimmy Choo peeptoes with some murder heels and a black Jimmy Choo clutch on top of them. How am I supposed to walk wearing these? Wait, am I seriously considering to wear these clothes? I shake my head and pull back the last layer of gift tissue to reveal a set of very expensive looking black lingerie and black stockings with lace tops. I check the sizes again and everything is my size, this is creepy.

"Why did you order these clothes Ana, that's not your style at all" Ethan comments and I flop down on the sofa. "Christian send it"

"What? Why would Christian Grey send you these clothes, wait, does he want you to wear this at work, because if he does, you can report it to HR or even sue his ass."

"No, we are having dinner tonight. Oh Ethan, I'm so stupid."

"Tell me what happened, Ana"

I fill him in on yesterdays events and he rubs his chin deep in thoughts. "Ana, the guy wants you, but something is really creeping me out about his behavior. I mean, there is nothing wrong with giving a woman clothes, but not if it's the first date and this note, he didn't ask you, he ordered you to wear it. You have to be careful."

"I'm not even sure if I'm going, I mean last week he told me he doesn't know me, this week he treats me like shit and now he wants to have dinner with me. At this point all I want is to figure him out."

"Is this really all you want, Ana. You told him that you want him." Ethan reminds me.

"I know, and I can't even explain why I am so drawn to him. Believe me, if I could figure this out for myself I would have quit my job right away, but something makes me stay."

"Okay, look. I still think that there is something wrong with him, but maybe you need this dinner tonight to find out what it is that has you so drawn to him. Where is he taking you anyway?"

"I have no clue, could be anything from McDonald's to the restaurant of the Fairmont."

"Judging from those clothes, I'm sure it won't be McDonald's, but Ana if he wants to take you to his apartment, say no. Insist that he takes you to a public place."

"Okay, now you are freaking me out Ethan. He won't rape me or hold me hostage."

"You don't know the guy, Ana. For all that I'm concerned he could have some secret torture chamber where he holds woman hostage to do all sorts of perverted things to them."

I can't help but laugh. "Ethan, please! Do you really think he is a psycho-path with a secret torture chamber and no one knows it?"

"Ana, shit like this happens."

"I know, you now what, I need a nap, sorry, but I'm too exhausted to think straight, let's talk later. Will you wake me in two hours."

"Sure, I will make lunch for us."

"You are the best, Ethan" I kiss his cheek gather the contents of the parcel and put it all on the armchair in my bedroom and curl up in bed, where I fall asleep almost immediately.

At four in the afternoon I decide that I should start to get ready, as I'm still looking a mess it will take some time, so I start with a long bubble bath and I'm just out and dressed in my robe when Ethan calls for me.

"What do you..." I stop mid sentence because there are three women in our livingroom who are dressed like beauty technicians and they have those huge silver cases with them. What is going on?

"Miss Steele, Mister Grey has send us over here to do you hair and make up for this evening, just sit down, relax and we are doing the rest."

Hearing them say this I have this vision of me in a padded cell again, actually, I wouldn't even be surprised if Winnie the Pooh or some other of my favorite cartoons would start to dance through the apartment by now.

"Umm, okay, I was thinking about a updo and..."

"Don't worry Miss Steele, Mister Grey gave us specific instructions on what to do with you. You will like it." one of the women says and I give up. I sit down on the chair they pull out for me and just let them do what ever Christian has told them to do.

Almost an hour and a half later I hardly recognize the girl staring back at me in the mirror. My make up is sinfully sexy, my hair is styled in sexy curls and my finger- and toenails are painted in a sparkling dark ruby-red.

"Do you like it, Miss Steele" Penny, one of the beauty technicians asks me. "I... umm... is this really me?"

"Yes, you look amazing, shall we go to your room to do the waxing?"

"Excuse me?" A waxing, I'm alarmed!

"Mister Grey, wanted you to have a waxing"

"Waxing what specifically?"

"Oh the usual, underarms, arms, legs and a brazilian." she says smiling brightly and I close my eyes and count to ten.

"That won't be necessary Penny. I shaved my legs and underarms today and since Mister Grey won't come anywhere near my vagina it is none of his business if I shave or wax it." I tell her sweetly and she looks really uncomfortable.

"Look, we have to follow our orders and..."

"I think the three of you should leave now, thanks for your services, but you are no longer needed. Miss Steele doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to." Ethan snaps and I can tell he is royally pissed off.

Penny and the other two women see that as well and leave as fast as they can.

"Ana, that's enough. They guy is a sicko, I mean what kind of guy orders his date to have her snatch waxed for their first date. Do you still want to go?"

"I need answers Ethan. This is my one chance to get them."

"Fine, wait here" he goes to his room and returns a minute later. "Here, put this in your purse, if he makes one wrong move use it."

I puts something in my hand and it takes me a second to realise what it is. "Ethan, I can't carry a taser around with me."

"Yes, you can, because if you don't, I won't let you leave with the guy Ana."

"Is this even legal?"

"I don't care, Ana. Just fucking take it with you."

"But what if I hurt him with it."

"Ana, if you would have had a taser with you that night when those assholes raped you, wouldn't you have used it?"

"Yes, but I don't think Christian..."

"Ana, you don't know the guy and something is not right with him, so you can either take the taser with you or I'll lock you in your room and tell Grey where to go!"

"Okay, okay! I'll take it with me, but if I get arrested because of it you are going to bail me out" I mutter and take it to my room where I put it into the clutch and get dressed in the clothes Christian picked out for me.

When I look at myself in the mirror, I have to say for the first time in my life, I feel sexy. I look seductive and sexy, but to my own surprise not in a slutty way. I would even go so far as to say that I'm really beautiful like this. I know I'm not ugly, but I never felt as beautiful as the women around me, like Claire, Andrea or even Kate, but dressed and styled like this, I feel good.

Just when I take a look at the clock I hear someone knock at the door, followed by Ethan calling my name. I take the coat and the purse and leave my room, to find Christian dressed in a black three-piece suit, looking sexy as hell, and Ethan in the livingroom and both men are staring at me.

"Anastasia" he says, his voice sounding all husky and I can't find my own voice for the life of me. Get a grip Ana! I scold myself inwardly and take a deep breath.

"Christian" I answer, glad that my voice doesn't sound shaky.

"We should leave, I booked a table at Canlis for us. Taylor is waiting outside, he will drive us." he steps forward and helps me into the coat.

"Okay, let's go. See you later Ethan."

"Bye Ana, and Grey, if you hurt one hair on her head I will make it my life's mission to make your life hell on earth." he threatens Christian who gives him an arrogant smirk.

"Wouldn't dream of it, Kavanagh." Somehow the tone of his voice doesn't sound good at all. Really, it sounded more like 'I hurt her as much as I like and you won't even notice it' and a tiny voice in my head tells me that it would be best for me to stay home, but I made my choice and so I leave with Christian and get into the backseat of the SUV that is waiting outside the building for us.

Until Taylor pulls out into traffic neither Christian nor I say a word and the silence between us feels very uncomfortable.

"Penny called me and told me you refused the waxing" his voice sounds amused and I'm blushing. Damn, we are not even sharing the same space for five minutes and he is already talking about none-waxed vagina. Well, it's shaved, but that really is none of his business.

"If you have already paid for it, why don't you let her come to Escala and have the waxing yourself" I answer sweetly and he glares at me.

"Careful Anastasia, I won't tolerated your smart mouth much longer."

"And what will happen once you can't tolerate it anymore?" I challenge him.

"Then I'll put you over my knee and spank your pretty little ass, until you learn how to treat me with respect."

"Christian, I told you this once before, if you want my respect, you have to earn it. Respect is nothing you can buy or just expect from me because you are Christian Grey. So, if you want my respect, maybe you should start by treating me with respect."

"Do tell me when I failed to treat you with respect"

"How about when I came to GEH to talk to you and you first ignored me and then had the guts to tell me that you don't know me. Or how about last week at work or when you told your brother that I am boring, making it sound like we were intimate before. Respect is not a one way street Christian, you should keep that in mind."

"I see, well you are right, my behavior towards you was poorly lacking and though I had your best interest at heart, I apologize for the way I've treated you. But, I want you to think about how ungrateful you are about all I have done for you."

"I am not ungrateful, Christian. I can never repay you for making sure that I could afford college and got the job of my dreams, but seeing that you so just took the job away from me makes it hard to feel grateful at the moment."

"Why is this job so important for you, your new job will look much more impressive in your résumé." he points out.

"That's not the point, but you wouldn't understand it anyway" I whisper and stare out of the car window.

"Try, I want to understand you, Anastasia."

"My life has never been exactly easy, most of the time it was hell. After my stepdad died, there was no one who cared about me. I got beaten or neglected at home and school was even worse. The one thing I had that would always offer me comfort were books. Reading a story helped me escape reality for a while and it became my dream to one day go to college, make a degree and work as editor or maybe even write a book someday. I would have been happy to even work as a sales assistant in a bookstore. When I got the job at SIP, for the first time in my life I was completely happy and you just took it away from me. I don't even know why you did it, because on Friday you wouldn't even admit that we know each other and on Monday I had to work for you."

"Do you want your job back?"

"No, because going back to SIP would mean that I would have to live with the fear that at any point you decide I should work somewhere else or just fire me. At least if you fire me at GEH I won't miss the job."

"You started this Ana, by returning the car!"

"Oh, so you can walk around and manipulate my life as you see fit, but the moment I find out about it and tell you to stop, you just can walk all over me and I just have to accept it? "

"We are here, let's talk over dinner" he says clipped, but I have already lost my appetite.

We are seated at a table by the window and both look through the menu, but when the waiter comes to take our order Christian just orders for me, too.

"What if I don't like what you ordered?" I ask simple once the waiter is gone. In any other place I might have said something, but Canlis is one of the top restaurants in the US and I'm not in the mood to publicly humiliate myself by sounding like a pouting teenager.

"I ordered a selection of different foods, I'm sure since we are having 7 courses that you will find something you like."

"Are you always like this?" I try to change the subject, because I still want answers and so far he is still the same mystery to me he was before.

"Like what?"

"Domineering, you didn't even ask me if I wanted to go on a date with you, then you send me the clothes and basically ordered me to wear them, you had a beauty crew come over to my place to style me the way you want it and now you even order my food. That's completely over the top Christian, don't you see that?"

"No, I'm used to have things my way, Anastasia. People do what I say no matter if they work for me or not. This is how I like it. I tried to protect you from me, but no matter what I did, you still wanted me, now you have to deal with me, because I'm no longer trying to stay away. I want you and I will have you, it's very simple."

"Christian, why did you feel you had to protect me from you?"

"Because, you are good and pure and I am not, but we will talk about this later. For now I want to enjoy dinner with you."

"Well, I want to talk about it now Christian."

"Anastasia, be a good girl and do as you're told." he says and I can't help it, I have to laugh.

"You do realise that I'm a grown woman right, talking to me as if I'm a naughty child won't get you anywhere Christian." Christian leans back in his chair and smirks at me.

"Anastasia, do you realise that we are the only guest's in here tonight?"

I take a look around and gasp, how did I not notice this. We are the only guests in here. How did he do that?

"It's all about knowing the right people, Anastasia. I can make just about anything happen and if you don't do as you are told, I will give Taylor a sign and he will make sure that we are not even interrupted by the waiter and then I will spank you right here. It's your choice.

"If you do so much as to breathe to close to me, you will regret it" I hiss between clenched teeth and now I'm glad Ethan gave me the taser.

"I will do much more than only breathe close to you, Anastasia, but we are going to talk things out first."

"And how are we going to do this if you don't want to talk now?" I snap.

"We can talk, but we will discuss us, later"

"Fine, your brother told me that you never had a date in your life, why is that?"

"I'm a very private person Anastasia, the women I was with in my past knew that and signed NDA's to make sure they would never talk about it. And since we are on this subject now, the NDA that you have signed when you started to work for GEH also covers everything we do together outside Grey House."

"Wait, does that mean, I can't tell Ethan anything that we did tonight?"

"Exactly"

"And what if I do it anyway, are you going to sue me for all my money" I mock him and I can tell he is about to lose it.

"If I can't trust you, we can end this right now Anastasia. So, do you want to stay or go home and chit-chat with your roommate?"

"If I tell him, that I can't tell him anything, he will become suspicious and he will demand to know what happened or assume the worse."

"Since he already knows that we are having dinner, you can talk about it with him, but not what I'm going to tell you later."

"Whatever" I mutter. This is exhausting, he is acting all weird and I feel myself getting defensive. I decide, it is best to not talk at all as the first course is served. It's delicious, but my mind goes back to Christian and I watch him deep in thoughts.

What secret could be so bad, that he is treating me like shit, just to have me stay away from him. And why is he going all mysteries yet domineering on me now? Why did he make all his former girlfriends sign an NDA and why did they never meet his family?

"Penny for you thoughts?" Christian's voice pulls me back to the now and I shake my head.

"Just trying to figure you out"

"Have you reached any conclusion so far?" he asked clearly amused.

"Could be anything from multiple personality disorder to the fact that you are just a douche."

"I'm happy to tell you that so far my shrink couldn't diagnose me with any kind of mental disease, as for being a douche, you will soon find out that I am much more complicated than that."

"Do you enjoy talking in riddles?" I ask him and he gives me this arrogant smirk that makes me angry. "I told you, we will talk after dinner, at my place."

"What makes you think that I will go to your apartment?"

"Because you want to figure me out" he says simply and I give up. This is getting me nowhere, so we engage in small talk for the rest of our meal and when I go to the restroom after the dessert I reflect on what he said and the rest of the evening.

He was overly polite for the rest of our dinner, he has some big secret he is going to share with me, but what stays with me the most is his dominance. He really likes to have things his way and ... suddenly it's like all the puzzle pieces fall into place and I hear Ethan's voice in my head. _...maybe he has a secret torture chamber..._ and Christian threatening to spank me. He has done that more than one time. Him asking me to be a good girl, ordering me to wear the clothes he picked out for me and telling the beauty team how he wants me to look. Him ordering for me and telling me about the NDA. Him telling me that he did what he did to protect from him... this all leads me to one conclusion. I know I could be wrong, but what if I am right?

I leave the restroom and make my way back to our table, where he is waiting for me.

"Are you alright Anastasia, you look pale." Christian asks and I take a deep breath. Okay, here goes nothing.

"I was reflecting on today, what you did and said... and a thought came to my mind. So, I'm just going to ask you one question and I want an honest answer."

"What do you want to know, Anastasia?"

"Are you into BDSM, are you a Dominant, Christian?"

I watch his face as his eyes widen in surprise, but within the blink of an eye he relaxes, leans back in his chair and smirks.

"I'm not sure if I should be more surprised that you know what BDSM is or that it took you only one evening to figure me out. So, to answer your question, yes, I am a Dominant and if you want me, like you said you do, the million dollar question is, can you be a submissive, Anastasia?"

"I need some fresh air, please excuse me" I take my purse and leave the table before he can stop me. Outside the restaurant, I take my phone and call Ethan.

"Ana, is something wrong?" he sounds anxious and I can't blame him, he was right.

"No, it just, I'm at Canlis, you know the restaurant, can you please come and pick me up?"

"I'm on my way, has he done something?"

"No, I just don't want to spend anymore time with him."

"I'll be there in 15 minutes Ana"

"Okay, bye." I hang up and put the phone back in my purse.

"I assume your answer is no" I look up and see Christian standing a few feet away from me.

"I have been beaten enough for one lifetime, Christian. You had me watched all those years, I assume you know what happened to me the night we met, did you really think I would allow you to beat me or find any pleasure in you inflicting pain on me?"

"I don't know, but I needed to ask."

"I won't return to work on Monday, it is best if we won't see each other again."

"I guess you are right, but you can have your job at SIP back, I promise I won't interfere with your job again."

"No, I can't go back there, I'll find something else, don't worry."

He looks at me and I can see the sadness that I feel reflected in his eyes. "So, this is goodbye?" he ask and I nod slowly.

He nods and gives Taylor a sign. "There is something I want you to have Anastasia. You gave it back to me, but I want you to have it. See it as a memory of two young people who met when they needed each other the most" he says and even though I feel like my heart is breaking I have to smile when I see Taylor returning with the leather jacket Christian gave me on the bridge all those years ago.

"Will you keep it?"

"Yes" he takes it from Taylor and wraps it around my shoulders. "I wanted you to know that it worked for me" he says and retrieves the talisman I've given him on the bridge from his pants pocket. "I've had it with me every day since then."

"My my stepdad's father gave it to him and he had it from his father, maybe one day you'll have a son you can give it to."

"I don't think so, I'm not a family guy."

"You will be, one day you will meet the right one and you will have lots of children with her."

"If you say so" he says softly and I hear a car arrive on the parking lot behind us.

"Goodbye Christian, and thank you for everything you have done for me. I can see now, why you felt the need to stay away and what you did."

I look at him and deep down, I know this is the last time I'm going to see him. This really is goodbye and it not only a goodbye to him, but also to a hope I had ever since that night that we've met on the bridge. If a submissive is what he needs, I'm not the one for him and he is not my happily ever after.

"Goodbye Anastasia" he takes a step closer and I know he is going to kiss me, but I don't stop him. I want this kiss to be my last memory of him. He leans down and when our lips touched it's everything I hoped it would be, it's how it should feel to kiss the man who is your soulmate.

When we hear Ethan call my name we end the kiss and I caress his cheek and rest my other hand on his chest.

"Goodbye Christian" I whisper, barely able to hold back my tears and he just looks down at me completely lost.

"Ana, come on. Let's go" I hear Ethan call and with one last look at Christian I take my hands back, turn around and walk towards Ethan. My tears start to run down my face and when I reach Ethan who is standing next to his car, I can see the anger sweeping through him.

"What has he done to you?"

"Nothing, just take me home please. I won't see him again." I whisper through my tears and get into the car. Ethan gets into behind the wheel and as he drives away I turn around to look at Christian one last time and even through my tears I can see the one single tear rolling down his cheek.

This is it. I wanted to know and now I do. He is not the knight in a shining white armor, more like a dark knight and more, he is not the right guy for me. All those years I was holding on to a fantasy and the hope that he would be my happily ever after, that fate brought us together because we were meant to be. But now I know that it was just a chance encounter, there was no deeper meaning to it. I have to find my happily ever after somewhere else, but I know I will never forget him. He will always have a place in my heart as the young man I met at night, who cared enough about me to look after for all those years without me even knowing it...

_**Okay ladies, I'm not sure when the next chapter will be up. I had a very different plan for this chapter, sometimes during the process of writing a chapter, a story takes a completely different direction and I will need a couple of days to think about where to go from here, I promise though that I won't take longer than a week to update...visuals for this chapter can be found on my pinterest, the link is on my profile page...**_


	11. Chapter 11

_**Hi ladies, I have thought about where to go with this story and I think I know what to do now. I know some of you wanted Ana and Christian together soon, but you have to keep in mind that Christian was in the BDSM lifestyle for nearly 15 years, he has a long way to go before he can be a hearts and flower guy (with a little kink, we're talking about CG after all ;-) ). Also Ana never had a normal date life and for her it was the finale goodbye to Christian, when she left that night at the restaurant. This chapter will give you an inside on what happened with Christian after their date and the time that followed, next chapter will be Ana...**_

_**Christian**_

A year has passed since I saw Ana the last time. I still have someone who checks on her from time to time, but the reports go to Taylor. I'm only to be alarmed if something would happen to her. So, no news is good news. I don't even know if she still lives in Seattle or if she has left town, but I hope she is happy. She deserves it. To this day, not a single day has passed where I'm not thinking of her. She changed my life and she doesn't even know that she did it.

It was this one moment after our kiss when she rested her hand on my chest. I felt nothing, no pain, no fear, only the overwhelming feeling of knowing how right it is for her to touch me and that I never wanted this moment to end. Of course, it did end and all I could do was to watch her leave. It was a sad goodbye, but at the same time it was a new beginning for me. For the first time in my life I realised what my lifestyle was costing me. I lost Ana because of it, I know she was never mine to begin with, but it was my lifestyle that drove her away from me. She could get past me being cruel to her and my temper, but this was the one thing she wasn't willing to do. And I get it, I knew what has happened to her and still, I didn't even think about offering her anything else than to become my new submissive.

For a bright guy, that was the most stupid move I have ever made. It was the same night back at Escala when I completely lost it and destroyed my playroom. Only the thought of taking Ana in there and hurting her made me sick to my stomach. When I sat in the middle of the room that I used to call my playroom and sanctuary, I made a vow to myself. I vowed to myself that I would change, I would do what ever it takes to become the man Ana deserves.

For the last year I have seen Flynn three times each week in hour-long sessions and we worked through a lot of my issues. Hell, he made me go back and meet with each of my former submissives and apologize to them. At first, I thought he had lost his mind, but after doing it I understood. I never gave them the opportunity to speak freely and it was surprising and shocking what they told me. Apparently most of them left because they realised I was just using them to punish someone else, some of them even went so far as to tell me that I had no idea what BDSM was really about. Reflecting on it and doing a lot of research, I now agree with them.

I just needed an outlet for my anger and used those women, sure I made them sign a contract and we had rules, but I know I broke several of those rules. Fuck, Katherine told me I called her Elena when I was giving her a really severe punishment. She surprised me though. She was actually thanking me when I left. I was confused, but she told me that through what happened between us, she became a stronger person and I was the reason why she left town and as a result found her dream job in NY. Overall it was a hard thing to do, but I'm glad I did it.

Today, there is another hard thing to do for me. Today, I have to come clean with my family. For the longest time I feared it the most, but now I realise this is just another step in my process of healing. My family still thinks I'm secretly gay or celibate. Well, I am celibate since I don't want any other woman than Ana, but that's not the point. I just don't want anymore secrets standing between me and my family. I need a fresh start. If I want to be the right man for Ana, I can not ask her to help me keep secrets from my family. I want them to know how I met her and what she did for me.

She not only was the reason why I didn't kill myself that night and why I want to change my life now, but she is also the reason why I no longer have nightmares. Since the last time I saw her it is her I dream about every night. Her beautiful eyes, her sweet face, her giggling, it is always her and now I'm looking forward to go to sleep every day, as it is the only time where I can see her.

"Sir?" I look up from my desk in my study and see Taylor.

"Yes?"

"Your family has arrived." I nod and get up. This is it, either my family will forgive me and support my wish to become a better person or they will be to shocked and disgusted by my secret life and leave. Well, it's now or never.

I make my way into the great room and welcome my family while Gail is offering refreshments. Fuck, I'm nervous. This could go either way, but Flynn told me I have to take a leap of faith. My parents always say the love me, so I guess now I will see if they really do or if my revelations will drive them away from me.

I ask them to sit down with me and take a deep breath and start.

"I asked you to come here today, because I need to tell you something, something I should have told you long ago. I was one of the boys Elena Lincoln seduced."

Mia and Elliot look at me open-mouthed, my dad get's up and starts to pace the room and my mom has tears rolling down her face. Damn, I hate to make my mother cry.

"Mom, please, it was long ago." I mutter and hand her a handkerchief.

"How old were you, Christian" she says and takes the handkerchief.

"I was 15, it ended when I was 22. I was her submissive, I thought she was helping me, that she was my friend. I believed her lies until I found out how wrong I was, how she was using me."

"Why didn't you tell me Christian? Christ, I suspected it when you told me about Elena and those boys, but then I thought ... we could have helped you, son" my dad says and I realise he has tears in his eyes, too. Fuck, I never expected that to happen.

"Dad, I ... I just didn't want anyone to know."

"Then why now?" he asks and sits next to Grace to comfort her.

"Because I met a girl and I want to become a better person for her, the man she deserves and I don't want anymore secrets or lies in my life."

"A girl, really. Where is she?"

"I don't know. It's complicated mom, I haven't seen her in a year. She couldn't deal with my lifestyle."

"Lifestyle?" Okay, here goes nothing.

"After things with Elena ended I was so mad. I wanted to punish her and so I became a Dominant myself, I stayed in the lifestyle and had submissives who looked like Elena so I could beat them instead of her."

For the longest time no one says a word and I just start to think they are just going to leave when me voice speaks.

"What do you mean you beat women?"

"It's not what you think mom. In this lifestyle BDSM, there are rules and punishments. I had contracted relationships with women, if they failed to follow the rules I had given them, I would punish them. There are limits, things I wouldn't do and things they wouldn't do. It was all consensual. They were free to leave at anytime."

"Are you still in this lifestyle?"

"No, I have stopped over a year ago."

"And this girl, she left you or ended this contract?"

"No, she never signed a contract. It's difficult. I've met her the night things with Elena ended, she saved me."

"Saved you?"

"When I dropped out of Harvard, I did it because Elena promised me to give me the money to start my company. But once I dropped out she came up with excuses why she couldn't give me the money when ever I asked her. One night I came to her place and got in just like every time. I heard her talk to her husband about me. They were laughing about me and how stupid I was to believe that I meant anything more to Elena. When I left the house I felt humiliated, desperate, betrayed... I can't even describe what went through my mind that night. I just got into my car and drove through town with no direction and then I saw a bridge and I thought how easy it would be to just end things.

I felt drawn to that bridge. When I arrived on the bridge and got out of my car I saw her. Ana was there too. I could tell that something bad had happened to her. Her face was tear-stained, she had a bloody nose and her clothes were ripped, but the moment I saw her eyes I knew I couldn't let her jump off that bridge. She was just 16 too young to even fully understand what she was doing. In the end we made a pact, promising each other to try our best for the next 6 years and that we would meet again on that bridge after 6 years either to exchange how life turned out for us or to jump together.

That was what changed my life. She changed me and she did even more when we met again."

"So you went back to that bridge?" My dad asks and I explain to him how I found out who she was, how I helped her without her knowing it and everything else that has happened until the night we saw each other the last time and her touching my chest.

"Christian, why are you waiting, talk to her. Tell her what you told us" my mom says and I shake my head.

"It is not that easy mom. She deserves the best and I'm not the best for her, I still have to work on myself, I can't go to her and ask her to give me a chance before I'm not really sure that I am all she needs and deserves."

"Christian, don't wait too long, the longer you wait the more excuses you will find to wait even longer. If you feel that she is the one then go for it. Trust yourself son, if you love her and are willing to change for her then you are ready to try." My father says and even long after they are gone his words repeat over and over in my head.

Maybe he is right, I have waited one year and I miss her. I need to talk to Flynn about this, get his opinion, but if he agrees with my dad, I know I will see Ana again, soon. And with that thought on my mind I go to bed and dream about the woman I love. My Ana.

_**I know, a really short chapter, but you will get another chapter tomorrow and two more until Friday...**_


	12. Chapter 12

**As promised here is chapter 12 which will show you what Ana did since the last time she saw Christian. Since I have no other way to reply to guest reviews I have to do it here...**

**To the guest who left this review:** _**I'm kinda disappointed Christian went to apologize to his subs. They engaged the lifestyle with him bc they WANTED is not only for people who want to punish others. I don't think you should include BDSM in your story when you don't understand it.**_

**The reason why Christian apologized to them was not because had a D/s - relationship with them. He apologized because he told them this was what he wanted, when in reality all he wanted was someone who looked like Elena, so he could punish them for what Elena did to him. He needed to realise that his lifestyle had nothing to do with BDSM. He just needed an outlet for his anger and convinced himself, that what he was a Dom, when he wasn't. Of course his subs entered their relationship willingly, but they did not get what they expected from it. For him it was all about punishment, which always had to be physical, and he wouldn't even provide them with after care, which was shown in chapter 3 when he just left the playroom after his sub safe-worded. In the same chapter he says he uses his subs and spits them out after he had enough of them, so it should have been clear to anyone that what he is doing has nothing to do with BDSM. I'm actually doing a lot of research on the lifestyle and have been chatting online with people who are in the lifestyle because I want to do a story where Ana is a sub next. So, I do understand the lifestyle, but it was my goal for this story to show a Christian who says and believes he is into BDSM when in reality he is not...**

_**Ana**_

"I'm leaving now, Ana. See you tomorrow."

"Sure, bye Amber. Have a nice evening" I watch my friend and employee Amber leave and put the closed sign out. Turning back around I take a look at my shop and smile. I still can't believe I really did it. But now at 24 years I own my own business and it's successful.

I walk behind the counter make myself a cup of tea and flop down on one of the armchairs in the sitting area. This is still like a dream to me. One year ago, I never thought this would be my future, but I couldn't be happier. I remember how I nearly fainted at the ATM when I wanted to pull some money to buy groceries and I had 100.000 dollar on my account. I went into the bank and found out the money came from Christian.

At first I had no idea what to do, but in the end I decided to keep it. We had our final goodbye and it was sad, but beautiful at the same time. Contacting him to give the money back felt wrong and I knew it was his way of making sure I would be fine even if it would take me a long while to find a new job.

I still think about Christian, but I try not to do it. I accepted that there is no future for us together and after weeks of crying myself to sleep over it I decided that it was time to move on. No more hanging around in old sweats and t-shirt with too much ice cream feeling sorry for myself that I couldn't have the one man I wanted the most.

Instead I focused on my career. I've sent out my résumé to any publisher in Seattle and nothing came back. I got so frustrated about it that I wanted to give up and look for a job as waitress until I would find something else when I came by an empty shop. It was up for rent and I called the real estate agent right away. I had no idea why, but I felt drawn to it and once inside I had this idea of having my own store.

A week later I signed the rental agreement for my store and two months later I opened Ana's book café. The middle of the shop is a normal café, but all the walls are lined up with books which are also sold here. My customers love it, they can come here buy a book and just sit down and read it right here while having a tea or coffee and pastries like cupcakes.

I have four employees. Three coeds who are working here part-time and Melinda. Melinda is in her late 60's and was looking for a job to support her daughter who is a single mother of 5 young children. Melinda is an angel and she makes the best cupcakes and other pastries ever. Every morning she is the first in here and makes the pastries for the day in the small kitchen in the back. I actually had to buy a crosstrainer so I could workout at home after work every day because there is not one day which passes by without me eating at least two of her cupcakes or a piece of cake.

To me coming here every day is not coming to work, but being at my second home. I simple love it. And it makes me even more thankful to Christian. Without him, I know I would never had the chance to open my own business.  
The ring of the doorbell gets me back to the now and I set my cup of tea down on the table in front of me.

"We are already closed." I say without turning around.

"Well lady, then you should have locked the door, you never know who comes in at this hour." I hear a male voice. I get up and behind the counter looking at the tall, handsome guy with twinkling green eyes and curly raven hair.

"So, what has a guy to do to get a coffee in here, read some chick flick?"

"No, first he has to come in here while we are still open, second he has to ask nicely and third, which is the most important rule by the way, he has to kiss his amazingly beautiful and sexy girlfriend."

"It's a dirty job angel eyes, but a guy has to do what he has to do" he smirks and the next second he reaches over and lifts me over the counter before his lips are on mine and we kiss.

"So, can I have a coffee now, angel eyes?" he asks with a boyish grin and I can't help but smile.

"Sure, what do you want?"

"Just a black coffee, oh and I want that you lock the good damn fucking door after you have closed and are alone in here. It's not safe Ana."

"I know, sorry Dane, I forgot."

"It's okay. I need the restroom, I'll be right back." He says and I watch him walk over to the restrooms.

I have met Dane four months ago. I had already given up on dating after having six horrible dates with other men before I met him. He came in as a customer looking for a book for his sister who was in the hospital at the time. We talked for a while and he returned the next day asking me if I wanted to have coffee with him. At first I said no, but he returned every day until I said yes and we are dating ever since.

He is a great guy who works as architect for a local construction company. He is easy-going, likes to cook and has a great sense of humor. But most important is that I can really trust him. I told him right from the beginning about my past and that I never had a boyfriend. He promised that we would take things slow and that I never had to feel pressured into doing anything, but 2 weeks ago I told him I wanted to take the next step and we had sex.

It was good, though not this all-consuming, completely overwhelming experience I have read about so many times. I know it is bothering Dane that no matter what he tried so far he couldn't make me orgasm, but I know that's mostly my fault. I just can't let go completely, I try to just be in the moment, by my mind just drifts off to other things. I guess I just have to keep trying and also try to break down all those walls I've built up over the years to protect myself from getting hurt again.

When Dane returns he takes a sip of his coffee and shudders which makes me giggle.

"Don't be offended angel eyes, but this coffee is so strong if I drink it all I might have to sleep standing up tonight" he jokes and I laugh.

"See, and that is why I never make the coffee for customers. So, what are the plans for tonight?"

"I have to work on some blueprints tonight, but I thought I take you out for dinner before I have to go home and work on them."

"Okay, I just have to get my jacket and purse and lock up" I tell him get into the back of the shop where next to the kitchen is my little office. I get my jacket and purse, look around the shop a last time and lock the door.

"You know Ana, I guess I shouldn't like that at all" he says pointing to my jacket as we leave and I sigh. I'm wearing Christian's leather jacket again. Something I have done a lot over the last months. I don't even know why I do it, but sometimes before I leave my apartment in the morning I just grab it and wear it.

"The jacket belongs to an old friend, someone who did a lot for me, Dane. Though we no longer have any contact, it's nothing to worry about."

"Maybe, though if you like to wear a guys jacket, I will make sure that I leave one of mine at your place."

"To mark me as yours? I think you have done that quit a lot in the last couple of weeks, Mister Bryant." I tease him and smirks at me.

"I'm planning to do it even more often in the very near future" he winks at me and takes my hand as we walk down the street to a nearby asian restaurant.

Arriving back home 2 hours later I find Ethan sitting on the sofa in the living room watching a tv-show.

"Hey, where is Dane?"

"He had to work on some blueprints, we had dinner together tough." I answer and sit down next to him.

"Okay, what happened, I can see that something is bothering you." Ethan says and switches the TV off.

"Dane told me tonight that his parents come to visit him this week. He wants us to have dinner together on friday, I told him I would love to meet them and that he could bring them here so I could cook."

"Meeting the parents, wow this gets serious quick" he whistles and I sigh.

"I know, and that's the problem Ethan, I feel like everything is happening too fast. Meeting his parents is a big deal and you know I really like Dane, but I still feel something is holding me back."

"Ana, it's not something but someone who is holding you back. I mean look at you, you are wearing Grey's jacket again, don't think I didn't notice it. You never wore it after you have last seen him, but since you started to date Dane, you wear it all the time, like you are subconsciously trying to show Dane that there is someone else in your life, someone who doesn't even have to be around to be serious competition for him."

I bury my face in my hands and shake my hand groaning. "I don't know why I am doing this Ethan. I'm so confused. Dane is perfect for me, he is kind and gentle and he is so understanding with all my issues. I feel terrible that I am holding back, but I don't know what to do."

"For starters, burn the jacket or give it to a charity but for fucks sake get rid of it. If I was dating a girl who would wear another guys jacket all the time it would drive me nuts, because I would keep thinking she still wants him and not me. No guy wants to be a second choice Ana."

"I can't give it away."

"Why?"

"Because this is not just a jacket to me Ethan, it's much more and just so you know, if anything would ever happen to me, I want to be buried in it."

"First, we are not talking about you dying and second you still love Grey, I don't want to be mean Ana, but you can't have it all. You have to make up your mind, either you decide to go for Grey again or you finally get over him and give Dane a real chance. Hell, I feel sorry for the poor guy last night after you were long asleep, I found him in the kitchen researching on his laptop on ways to make a woman orgasm."

I know my face is a flame hearing Ethan say this and I really feel bad for Dane. He wants to make me happy in every way and it is eating on him if he can't.

"I guess you are right, but I can't have Christian."

"But why, you never told me, help me understand it Ana"

"It's difficult Ethan, but I won't see him again, so it doesn't matter. I just need to concentrate more on Dane. Maybe meeting his parents will be a good thing."

"I just want you to be happy Ana. I don't care if it is Grey or Dane who is making you happy, just as long as you are, but right now, I can tell you are not, well not completely."

"Ethan, no one is completely happy at all times. I have a good life and I am happy, yes you are right maybe if Christian was in my life I would be happier, but it is what it is and Dane is a great guy."

"Do you love him?"

"I know him for four months Ethan, that's not enough time to talk about love."

"Says the girl who fell in love with a guy she met once and waited seven years to see him again" Ethan snorts and I scowl at him.

"That's different Ethan, please let's just change the subject, I need some time to think." I mutter and wrap the leather jacket tighter around me as if it could protect from anything.

I thought I was over Christian, but I guess that was just wishful thinking. Still, I don't want him back in my life, his lifestyle and what I need is light-years away from each other. My future is with Dane, now all I have to do is convince myself that this is true...

_**I have already started chapter 13, so it should be up tomorrow... I know some of you won't like the fact that Ana has a boyfriend now, but please keep in mind she is a 24 years old woman who never had a relationship before, for her to stay alone even after she was sure she wouldn't see Christian again isn't realistic... but don't worry this story is still A&C and will have a HEA...  
**_


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, since I haven't put angst in the description of this story and don't want to change it, I'm going to give an angst warning for this chapter. So, be warned, this chapter contains angst, more angst, lots and lots of angst mixed with drama...**

_**Ana**_

"Go home Ana, we will be fine." Amber chuckles when I ask her for the tenth time if it is really okay for her to make the rest of the shift alone. Usually, I'm the one who closes the café, but today Dane's parents are coming over for dinner at my place and I need to leave early.

To say that I'm a mess would be an understatement. I haven't slept well and I have been anxious all day. I don't know why, but since I left my apartment this moment I'm getting the chills at least twice every hour and I have this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach as if something terrible is about to happen. I thought about calling the dinner off, but I couldn't find a good excuse, so I guess I just have to go through with it.

"Ana, you can leave, it's okay" I look at Amber again and sigh. "Yes, I need to leave or I will never get dinner ready in time." I murmur get my purse and jacket and hand the keys for the café to Amber.

"If something is wrong just call me"

"Go. Now!" she says pointing to the door and I hold my hands up in defeat and leave the café. On my home I make a quick stop at the pike place market and buy the groceries I'll need to cook dinner. At my apartment Ethan is already at home and helps me to unload the grocery bags.

"Hell Ana, how many people are you expecting for dinner, this is enough for a dozen people"

"I know, I bought too much. I don't know what is wrong with me today. I just... I have had this weird feeling all day, like something bad is about to happen."

"You are just nervous because you will meet Dane's parents for the first time. Come sit down, you have enough time to cook. Let's have a glass of wine first."

"Okay, Dane should be here soon. He wanted to come over right after work, his parents are on a sight seeing tour with his sister." I explain and sit down at the kitchen table. Ethan get's the wine and I take a huge sip.

"Whoa, slow down, you don't want to meet his parents and be drunk" Ethan laughs, but I empty the glass with another huge sip and after my second glass Dane arrives.

"Hey angel eyes, you look stressed" he says and kisses me.

"No, just... long weird day. Do you think your parents like scallops with tomato risotto and some veggies?"

"They will love it, don't worry they would be fine even if you would just heat a pizza."

"Well, that's my plan b if something goes wrong." I mutter and start to cook, when everything is prepared I pour myself another glass of wine to calm my nerves, but when I'm just about to sit down at the table I have the most terrible feeling deep inside of me. It feels like all the warmth is leaving my body and I can't breathe.

I watch in slow-motion as the glass slips out of my hand and crashes to the hardwood floor where it breaks into a million pieces.

"Jesus Ana, what is wrong, you are deathly pale" Dane says and cups my face in his hands.

"I... I... can't breathe" I get out and he helps me to the sofa.

"Come on angel eyes, take some deep breaths, okay we do it together" he says gently and after a moment it helps and I can breathe again.

"Okay, you need to rest, I'm calling my parents, we can have dinner another time."

"No, don't. I'm fine. What ever it was I'm better again."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm fine. Just give me a minute and I continue to cook."

"Okay, but they would understand if you are not feeling well."

"I'm fine, I promise. Maybe I'm getting the flu or something" I shrug and sit for a few more minutes before I continue to cook.

Ethan has left the kitchen and is watching some tv show before he has to leave to meet some friends. I'm just about to put the scallops in the pan when the program is interrupted by breaking news. I look over to the tv and freeze when I see a picture of Christian on the screen. I walk over and listen to what is said.

_... 45 minutes ago the private jet of multi billionaire Christian Grey has crashed near boing field, King County international airport. 30-year old Grey was on his way back from a conference in New York with the COO of his company, Ros Baily. The airport security managed to get Grey, Baily, both pilots and the flight attendent out of the jet just before it burst into flames. So far all we know is that Grey suffered severe injuries as have all over persons who were on board. They were all rushed to the Seattle Grace. Stay tuned for more news on the condition of Christian Grey..._

"Ana, is everything okay, you look like you have seen a ghost" I look up at Dane and I know I can't stay. I need to see Christian.

"Dane, I have to go." I run into my bedroom and grab a jacket and my car keys before running back.

"Ana what is going on. Where are you going?" Dane asks confused.

"Dane, I'm so, so sorry... but I have to go." I kiss his cheek, grab my purse and run out of the apartment. The car Christian gave me is still standing outside, though I haven't driven it in over a year. Ethan takes it sometimes, but right now I happy it is here. I open it, get behind the wheel and start the engine.

While I'm driving like a maniac I switch the radio on to hear the news and what I hear nearly makes my heart stop.

_... unconfirmed sources broke the news that Christian Grey, Seattle's most eligible bachelor died on the way to the hospital after being in a plane crash about 50 minutes ago. The hospital and the Grey family has yet to confirm this very sad news..._

I switch the radio off immediately and drive while more and more tears are sliding down my face. This can't be true, I can't live in a world where Christian is no longer alive. This has to be a bad dream. Oh god please let me wake up, I beg silently. He can't be dead, he can't be dead.

I repeat this over and over in my head and finally I reach the hospital and find a parking spot. There are reporters everywhere and I can barely make it to the entrance of the hospital, but when I finally reach it I am stopped by the building security.

"Excuse me Ma'am, but we need your ID and the name of the person you want to visit before we can let you inside." the man says and I dig through my purse to hand him my ID.

"Okay, Miss Steele, do you have an appointment here or do you want to visit someone."

"I'm looking for Christian Grey, I'm a friend an..."

"Nice try lady, now please leave" he snaps at me.

"What, no! I need to see him ... I..." he waves at another guy who comes over and starts to drag me away.

"No! Get your hands off of me, I need to find out how Christian is" I yell and struggle against him and just then I see Taylor behind the glass wall at the entrance.

"Taylor, Taylor over here, please, it's me Ana" I yell and he looks over to me through the glass wall and steps outside.

"Hey, get your hands off her, Miss Steele is family" he yells at the guy who is still trying to drag me away from the entrance and he finally let's go off me so I run over to the door where Taylor is standing.

"Please follow me, Miss Steele."

"How is he, is he alive, I heard on the radio that he died on the way to the hospital. Taylor please, tell me he is alive." I cry and he pulls me in his arms.

"He is alive, Miss Steele. His injuries are serious and he is in surgery, but he is alive. He is a strong man, Miss Steele, he will pull through this" Taylor says as he let's go of me and smiles at me, though I can see the worry written all over his face. But I nod and follow him until he leads me into a private waiting room.

The first person in the room I notice is Elliot, Christian's brother, he is holding a tall girl with dark hair who is sobbing in his arms and next to them is Carrick Grey, his father, who was my lawyer years ago. He is comforting a blonde woman who is also crying and I assume that this is his mother. I shouldn't be here, this is Christian's family, they don't even know me.

"Taylor who is this" asks Christian's mother.

"This is Ana" he says simply and now all eyes are on me. His mother comes over to me and hugs me.

"Christian will be so happy that you are here. Come sit, you can wait with us." she says and leads me to one of the chairs.

"How serious is it, have you seen him?"

"No, they are getting him ready for surgery. So far all we know is that he has a broken arm and leg, as well as severe head injuries, this is why he needs surgery." his mother explains and starts to sob again.

For the next hour we all just sit there in silence waiting on any news. Taylor comes in two times to inform us that Christian's PR team has released a statement letting the media know that he is still alive and asking them to leave the hospital grounds because there are so many of them outside that emergencies can barely make it to the entrance of the hospital.

"Do you love my brother?" I look at his sister who is sitting next to me with Elliot and I know my expression is completely blank.

"Yes" I whisper finally, what good would it do to still deny my feelings. I love Christian, I have loved him ever since the first time I've laid eyes on him. I tried to deny it, I tried to get over it, but I just can't do it any longer. I love him and only the thought that I might never get a chance to tell him brings fresh tears to my eyes.

"He told us about you, how you met, everything... you changed his life" she says.

"He changed my life, too. I just hope I get the chance to tell him" I whisper and she takes my hand in hers.

"He's a fighter, he always was. And he is too much of a control freak to just die and leave his family and company behind" she says with a sad smile.

We all continue to wait and slowly it is driving me insane. What is taking them so long? Why can no one come in and just give us at least a little bit of information. It's been over 4 hours now and we have heard nothing. His mother, who is a doctor at the hospital tried to get some information, but all we got was that he is still in surgery.

After five hours a nurse comes in and we all look up at her praying that she has good news.

"Your son is still in surgery, he has lost a lot of blood and needed blood transfusions. We are out of his blood type and the blood bank has only one more bag of his type left, are some of you willing to donate blood now?" she asks.

"Oh my god, our children are adopted, Christian is the only one with A- " Grace gasps and I get up.

"My blood type is O- isn't that compatible with every other blood type?" I ask, I think I've heard that before...

"Yes, would you be willing to donate blood?" I nod and she asks me to follow her. Right now, I would do anything to help Christian.

"Have you donated blood before?" the nurse asks when we get into a room.

"No, I'm deathly afraid of needles" I confess and she gives me a warm smile. I just look away while I lie down and she inserts the needle.

"See, that wasn't that bad." she says, but I don't care they could poke me with hundreds of needles if it would make Christian better.

"How serious is it, I mean Christian?"

"I don't know, you have to wait. As soon as the doctors have any news his family will be informed, but he is in good hands. Our doctors do all they can to safe his life and he is young and strong, so this helps." she says and I nod weakly. This is a nightmare, why has something like this have to happen? And for the first time in a long while or maybe ever, I want to pray, not the thing where you just say or think please god, but really pray. I was never a religious person, I guess there are only so many things that can happen to you before stop to believe in a higher power. But if there is a god I want to pray for Christian to get better.

"Is there a chapel in this hospital?" I ask the nurse and she explains me where I can find it. Once I'm allowed to get up, I take the juice the nurse advised me to drink and leave the room to find the chapel. I light a candle and just sit down and silently pray for Christian to pull through this. It just can't end like this.

"Ana?" I turn around and see Elliot standing behind me. "Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, the nurse told me you are in here. Are you religious?"

"No, but I just promised to believe if Christian will get better." I try to give him a smile and he sits down next to me on the bench.

"You know, that day when we had lunch, I came to see Christian, but when I saw you, I thought I just try my luck. But then I saw the way you looked at each other and I knew something was going on between you two. Everyone who saw you could see it. Do you think you could give him a chance, Ana?"

"It's complicated."

"Just promise me that you will listen to him when he is better. He might surprise you." he says looking at the altar in front of us.

"Has he told you something?"

"It's not my place to say, Ana. Just listen to him." we sit there for a little while longer and then return to the waiting room. This waiting is torture, I want to yell at someone to tell me what is happening, but I know it won't get me any answers or make Christian better, so I just sit there and continue to silently pray that Christian will be fine.

When I look at my watch again it is after midnight, so it's over 7 hours now and finally a tired looking man in blue scrubs comes in.

"Richard, how is Christian" his mother says and jumps up from her seat.

"He is in a stable condition for now, but we had to put him in an induced coma. He suffered a skull fracture and had cerebral bleeding which we could get under control. It is the brain swelling that has us worried, but for now it is under control. He also has his right arm fractured in two places and a fractured ankle. During the surgery his heart rate and blood pressure dropped and we found internal bleeding. We were able to safe his spleen and stop the bleeding. He is brought to the ICU now and you can see him. Though no more than 2 persons at the time and no longer than 5 minutes each."

"Does this mean he will make a full recovery?" Mister Grey asks.

"At this time I can't promise anything, Mister Grey. Your son suffered severe injuries to the head and brain. It is possible that he will make a full recovery, but it is also a possibility that he will need depend on care for the rest of his life. We have to wait until we can wake him from the coma and have more tests done."

His mother and the doctor fall into a deep discussion with tons of medical terms I have never even heard of, but all I know is that he is still alive. Christian is alive and I know he will get better.

When the doctor asks them to follow him, I stay behind. I'm not his family, so I know I won't be allowed to see him, but his mother turns around to me.

"Ana, come. You want to see Christian, right?"

"Yes, but I'm not family" she comes to my and takes my hand. "I know he wants you to be here, we want you to be here, darling." I manage to smile and follow them to the ICU. His parents go in first, after them his siblings and then it's my turn.

When I get the first at Christian I involuntarily gasp. His leg and arm are in casts, there is a tube in his mouth helping him to breathe and many lines and wires are attached to him. I step forward and gently touch his hand.

"Hi, it's me, Ana" I whisper and again tears are rolling down my cheeks. "You really scared me today, but I guess you were scared, too. Just... just don't give up, okay. I know this is selfish, but I need you here, I don't think I can life in world where you are no longer a part of... I don't even know if you can hear me, but I need you to know that I love you. I tried not to, I tried to convince myself that we are not meant to be, but I can't... not anymore...

"Ana?" I turn around and see his father who tells me it is time to leave. His family tells me that I can see him again tomorrow and that they will call me if anything happens and then there is nothing more for me to do. I leave the hospital, drive home and when I step into my apartment I find Dane sitting on the sofa just looking at me.

I guess now I have to come clean now. I never wanted to hurt him, but I have to follow my heart now...

_**I guess this not what most of you expected, but this is what came to my mind first when I thought about where to go with this story after chapter 10... oh and just a little spoiler there will be NO amnesia storyline involved in this story...next chapter will be up tomorrow or Wednesday...**_


	14. Chapter 14

**Ok, here we go again. If you don't want to read my reply to a guest reviewer, just skip this note. **

**Dear guest who wrote this:** _**I'm so fucking pissed that you made Ana lose her virginity to Dane instead of Christian. I will not be continuing to read this story and I will warn other people not to read this bullshit either. Shame on you! I'm so repulsed by your writing.**_

**Okay, first I'm pissed about your review, too. Have you read this story?! Because if you have, you would know that Ana was NOT a virgin. She was raped which is why she went to that bridge where she wanted to commit suicide and met Christian. So she did NOT lose her virginity to Dane. Was it the right choice for her to have sex with another man? Yes, because she was sure she would never see Christian again. She waited 8 months before she entered a relationship and another 3 and a half months before she had sex with him. Had she known that Christian was changing his life to be with her, she would not have entered a relationship with Dane, but she had no idea. She tried to move on and met someone she liked. I'm not saying it was fair of her to enter a relationship when deep down she knew she still had feelings for Christian, but sometimes you only get over someone by giving another man a chance. If you don't want to read this story anymore, that is your choice, I'm not forcing anyone to read any of my stories. As for warning others to read this story, well good to know that you know so many people who read FSOG fan fiction, I assume if you do you also have an account, why don't you log in and give me the chance to reply to you by PM instead of leaving a guest review? Oh, and if you read this, just a little question: Why does Ana have to be a virgin, while it is totally okay for Christian to have sex with subs or even prostitutes (like he had in the original trilogy)? **

_**Ana**_

"Dane, I didn't think you would wait for me." I murmur not even able to look him in the eye. This man has been nothing but sweet and kind to me and now I feel really shady.

"My girlfriend just ran out on me and I had to tell my parents that I had no idea where she went, so care to enlighten me?" he says and I think he is drunk. Shit.

"Look, it is late and maybe you had a little too much to drin..."

"Fucking answer my question Ana" he yells at me making me jump. Okay, this is very angry Dane and he is scary. Oh, I hope Ethan is here.

"I was at the hospital." I answer and he gets up and starts to walk around me. Fuck, I really don't like this, actually I'm scared. I know I deserves his anger, but this scares me.

"Dane, please let's sit down and talk."

"The time to talk was when you decided to walk out on me, leaving me standing here like an idiot. So what were you doing at the hospital?"

"A friend of my was in an accident."

"What friend?"

"Christian Grey." For a moment he looks at me and then he starts to laugh. "Well, that explains a lot. I mean, no offence, but a little girl that comes from nothing has the money for that fancy car you never use and can afford to start her own business. I guess you earned all of it on your back. Tell me how much does Grey pay you to give him some pussy, does he pay extra if you give him some ass?"

"That's enough Dane, I understand that you are mad at me and you have every right to be mad at me, but I think it is best if you leave now. I'll call you tomorrow and we can talk when you are no longer drunk."

Before I can even react he slaps me hard and I can taste blood from my cracked lip.

"Get. Out. Now!" I yell at him and grab my phone ready to call the cops if he doesn't leave.

"No, I'm not. Tell me, what does Grey have that I don't. Is it his money or is dick bigger than mine, can he make you come? Huh, tell me. Fucking tell me, now!" He yells and I scream when his fist lands in my face and I fall to the floor.

"Ana what... fuck! What the fuck are you doing asshole" Ethan yells as he comes running from his room.

"That bitch deserves it" Dane hisses and Ethan grabs him and locks him into the bathroom before he calls the police and helps me to the sofa.

"Fuck, that bastard. Wait here, I'm getting you a cool kit for your eye, by tomorrow you will have a fucking shiner." he says and returns quickly with the cool kit.

The police arrives and they take Dane with them and ask me to come to the station tomorrow and to see a Doctor so he can attest my injuries. This is a fucking nightmare. I don't want to press charges against Dane. This is my fault.

"Ethan I don't want to press charges against Dane. It is my fault, he got mad because I just left today."

"Ana, I agree just leaving when his parents are on the way to meet you was a shitty thing to do, but that does not give him the right to hit you. He crossed a line here tonight, if you let him get away with it, he will most likely do it again, who knows maybe he has done it before. I really liked the guy, but if a guy who is nearly 6'3 tall and has 200 lbs punches a girl that is 5'2 and has less than 120 lbs he needs to pay for it. I'm not kidding, Ana. If you don't press charges we are no longer friends."

"Okay, okay, I'll do it." I mutter and Ethan get's me some Advil and a bottle of water.

"Here, take these."

"Thanks, Ethan."

"How is Grey?"

"He is in an induced coma, it was a close call and it's not clear in which condition he is going to be once they wake him. It is possible that he will need help for the rest of his life because of his brain injuries. It was terrible to see him like that, Ethan, but it also was a wake up call for me. I love him Ethan, no matter what happens to him I've made my choice, I want to be with him no matter what."

"Well, I'm glad you finally made your choice, but you do realise that if he has brain damage you might never get the person you knew and..." I hold both hands up to stop him from saying any more.

"Ethan, if this would happen I would still be at his side, I've made my choice, but for now I believe and hope that he is going to make a full recovery. Can we talk about this tomorrow? I have a headache and I'm exhausted."

"Sure, if you need something just tell me."

"Okay, and thanks for helping me Ethan."

"That's my job Ana. You are like a little sister to me and I won't allow anyone to hurt you." his kisses my forehead and we both go to our rooms. I don't even bother to get undressed or take a shower and just shake my shoes off before I lay down in my bed and fall asleep immediately.

Waking up the next morning my face hurts and I'm dreading to look at myself in the mirror, knowing that my face will look terrible. I want to curl up in bed and just stay here, but I can't. I have to see a doctor, go to the police station, open my shop and re-arrange the shifts so that I can go and see Christian each day during visiting hours. Christian!

I grab my phone and check it for any missed calls or messages, there is nothing, so this is a good thing. I get up and take a shower before I finally find the courage to look at myself in the mirror. Well, fuck! My left eye is almost completely swollen and shines in all kinds of colors from purple to black. My cheek is a little swollen and my lower lip cracked. I look like I have been in a bar fight.

I still can't believe Dane hit me. He was always so sweet and kind, but then again, what was I expecting and he doesn't even know that I love Christian. Well, after yesterday we are done anyway. I could never be with someone who is abusive, that's just not the kind of life I want to live.

I look through my closet for a casual outfit and get dressed in a light rose cami, worn out jeans, a gray cardigan and flats. I pull my hair up in a messy bun and hunt around for some dark sunglasses to cover my black eye. When I'm ready I sigh, well if I keep my head down maybe no one will notice.

In the kitchen I take another Advil and leave a note for Ethan that I won't be home before the evening. My first stop is at my doctor's office where he takes pictures of my injuries and writes everything down for me. Next I drive to the police station and make my statement. When I'm ready a female detective comes in and asks me if I have a few more minutes. I nod and she sits down with me.

"So Miss Steele, you were lucky last night." she says. I frown and take my sunglasses off.

"I wouldn't call that lucky, detective Mitchell."

"You should, you see your boyfriend is well-known here. His last girlfriend ended up in the hospital with five broken ribs, a broken nose and head trauma." she says without batting an eyelash.

"Excuse me, but are we talking about the same guy, Dane Bryant?"

"The very same Miss Steele. He has a record for being abusive, he also has a record for stalking the women who wouldn't go out with him. You should see a lawyer as soon as possible and get a restraining order against him, because I can already tell you that he won't let you go that easily."

"But, I don't understand this, Dane was the nicest person I have ever met."

"Well, you wouldn't want to be with him if he was an asshole to begin with" she says and I pinch the bridge of my nose. Great now I not only have to worry about Christian, but I also have a crazy ass stalker with an abusive streak on my heels, could my life get anymore complicated?

"Look, Miss Steele. I'm not telling you this to scare you, but I want you to be careful. Don't let him into your apartment, try to stay in public places and maybe it would be best if you carry pepper spray with you just to be safe. You're a petite woman, which makes you an easy victim for a guy his size."

"Okay, thank you for telling me this. Is he still here?"

"Yes, but he will probably make bail, so be careful, we will inform you once he is out."

I thank her and leave the police station, on the way to my café I call Ethan and fill him in, so he can be careful, too and does not let Dane into our apartment for any reason. At the café I call my employees Lisa and Crystal while waiting for Amber and Julie who have the first shift of the day. Thank god for those girls, they all agree to take over my shifts for the next couple of days. First, this way I can spend more time in the hospital and second I can't serve my customers wearing sunglasses, that's rude, so I need a couple of days until I look presentable again.

I also warn them about Dane and make it clear that they have to call the cops if he shows up. The last thing I want is for any of them to get hurt, because I've made bad choices.

Finally around lunchtime I arrive at the hospital and see Taylor who is standing outside of Christian's room and the ICU.

"Hi Taylor, can I go in?" I ask though I keep my head down so he won't see my face.

"Miss Steele, would you please look at me" he says. Shit! I slowly look up and his expression darkens.

"Please remove the sunglasses, Miss Steele."

"Please Taylor, I'm alright, really. I just want to see Christian."

"Miss Steele, you either remove the sunglasses now or I will do it myself." he snaps and I sigh and take them off.

"Son of a bitch... umm excuse me Ma'am." he apologizes for his invective and waves at the two other guys in dark suits who are also in the hallway.

"Ryan, stay here, I'll be right back" he says to one of the guys and leads me out of the ICU and into the cafeteria where he gets us both a coffee and we sit down.

"Please tell me what happened Miss Steele and don't even try excuses like you fell."

"I... I had a boyfriend for four months and last night I was supposed to meet his parents at my place. I left him there when I heard the news about Christian. When I came back home last night, he was still there and he was drunk. He lost it and hit me twice. My roommate called the cops. Turns out he has a history of beating his girlfriends and stalking women. I promise he won't make any trouble here..."

"Miss Steele, I'm not worried about Mister Grey's safety, I'm worried about yours. We should have done a background check on Mister Bryant and..."

"What... wait, how come you know his name?"

"Mister Grey has someone who checks on you every week. He is only to be alarmed if something would happen to you, but I should have looked into the history of your boyfriend. Anyways, I will have security for you in place by the time you leave here today."

"I can take care of myself Taylor, really don't worry about me."

"Miss Steele, this is not up for discussion. Mister Grey would never forgive me if something would happen to you. So if you don't agree to have security for your own sake, then do it for him."

"You do realise that this is not fair" I pout, though I know he is right, if Dane is dangerous, I will be a lot safer if I have security around.

"I don't care if my arguments are fair, as long as it will keep you safe, Mister Grey needs you. Can you imagine what will happen when he wakes up and I have to tell that you were murdered by you ex boyfriend. It would kill him." he says and I shudder just thinking about it, not the part of me dying, but how Christian would react to it.

"Okay, I'm fine with the security, can I see Christian now?"

"Of course, Miss Steele." we make our way back to the ICU and I get into his room where a nurse is checking on him.

"How is he?"

"Mister Grey is doing very well Ma'am, his brain swelling is going back slowly and all the test results came back better as expected, they Doctors want to keep him in the coma for a couple more days to give his body time to recover, but everything looks very good."

"Okay, umm do you think he can hear me? I brought some books with me, I thought I could read to him." I ask her as I pull the chair closer to his bed.

"I'm not sure, he is in a deep coma, though we had patients in Mister Grey's conditions who remembered their families talking to them, so maybe he can hear you. We also have patients who react very positive to music, there is a I-pod dock over there by the wall, if you want to play some music for him."

"Thank you, I'll try that." I give her a warm smile and she leaves.

"Hi Christian, I'm back... you know, I had a busy morning, so I'm a little late, but now I can stay until the evening and come back tomorrow morning. I'm not sure what kind of music you like, but how about we try some classical music." I take my I-pod put it into the I-pod dock and scroll through the playlist until I find one of my favorites A piece called _Air_ by _Johann Sebastian Bach_. I put it on so it's just loud enough to hear it and sit back down on the chair.

"I have some books here, so I can read something for you. Not sure what you like to read, but I thought _Shakespeare_ is a safe choice. How about _Hamlet_?" I look at him but of course he can't answer, so I open the book and start to read.

"Ana?" I turn around when I hear Grace's voice after reading for 30 minutes and she gasps. Crap, I forgot to put my sunglasses back on.

"What happened?"

"Can we talk outside?" I ask and she nods. In the hallway I explain what happened and she takes a look at my eye.

"What a shame that a man does something like this to a woman. Good thing you called the cops. Will you see him again?"

"Not if I can avoid it. It was a mistake anyway. I wasn't fair to him, I started a relationship when I wasn't in it with all my heart. I was just trying to get over Christian."

She smiles kindly at me and takes both my hands in hers. "Are you still trying?"

"No, I love your son. I know we still have so many things to work out, but I know we can do this. Though the most important thing for me right now is that Christian will make a full recovery and I will support him the best that I can."

"That's all I need to know. So, I need to go back to my little patients, Mia was here this morning with Elliot and Carrick will be here later. I'll come back after my shift"

"Okay, bye" I go back and continue to read until his Dad arrives at 5 pm and I decide to leave. I have to say I feel a lot better now that I know that Christian is making progress. It might be a long time before he is completely healed, but I'm much more positive that he will make a full recovery now.

I'm just out of his room when Taylor tells me that Sawyer will be my security guy now and that he is waiting at the entrance for me. Since my eye really hurts and I can't see shit after all the reading I did today I don't fight Sawyer when he asks me to leave my car here and that he will drive me around in his SUV from now on.

I sit in the backseat and switch my phone back on. There are five missed call from a number I don't know, so I listen to my voice mail and it is detective Mitchell informing me that Dane is out on bail.

"He made bail Sawyer" I inform him as he is driving and just as the words are out of my mouth my phone rings again.

"Ana Steele"

"Ana, oh my gosh, you have to come to the café, it's terrible" I hear Julie, one of my employees sob.

"Julie what happened?"

"Someone threw bricks against the windows, they are all broken. I've called the police, please hurry."

"Fuck, yes I'll be there in 10 minutes. Is anyone injured?"

"No"

"Good" I hang up and tell Sawyer that we have to go to my café. When we arrive I feel like crying, too. All the windows are broken, the police is already there and inside is broken glass everywhere.

After talking to the police and they have taken pictures and questioned all witnesses they leave, though as no one has seen the face of the person who did this, they didn't gave me much hope that they would find the guy. I told him to check if it was Dane. I'm sure it was him, I don't have any enemies and this is not something someone would do out of boredom or randomly.

"Go home Julie, I will clean this mess up. I will leave the café closed until the windows are repaired." I sigh looking around the huge mess in here.

"Are you sure? I can help you."

"No, it's okay, I'll do it." As she leaves Sawyer who was on his phone comes to me.

"I have arranged a cleaning crew to take care of this. We have someone who will watch Mister Bryant from now on and I called Elliot, he has a construction company and will send someone over to repair the windows, by tomorrow it will all be like this has never happened."

"That's nice Sawyer, but I can't afford it. I need to call my insurance first and..."

"Miss Steele, you don't have to pay for any of it. The cleaning crew works for GEH and Elliot is not going to charge you for the repairs."

"But I have to pay, this..." he gives me a warm smile and gently guides me to one of the armchairs.

"Miss Steele, Ana, you don't have to worry about this. Mister Grey would not accept any money from you and you have to worry about enough at the moment. Please let me take care of this."

"Okay, but at least let me make it up to you by cooking dinner for you."

"Well, I'm not going to say no to a good meal" he smirks and so after the cleaning crew is done and they guys Elliot has sent over used planks to secure the windows until they will put the new ones in tomorrow Sawyer takes me to my place where I make a quick stir fry for him, Ethan and I.

Ethan is livid when he hears what happened and I know he would beat Dane to a pulp if given the chance. When Sawyer tells us that he will be outside in his car all night Ethan and I convince him that he can sleep in our guest room and when I'm finally in bed and reflect on the day I silently pray that tomorrow will be one day without any drama...

_**I have to update my other stories first before I can update this story again, so the next chapter should be up by Friday... oh, and I've posted a one-shot yesterday, it's called 'The Letter' if you like sad stories check it out...**_


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